Emotionally Involved
by Mia Desiree
Summary: Elaine swore to never listen to what her heart wanted anymore after Dean died. But when he is miraculously revived and bring along the threat of apocalypse, the last thing she expects is meeting an angel who insists on keeping her safe. Forbidden or not, she couldn't help but gradually falling in love with him. Heaven and Hell be damned. Castiel/OC
1. All Lives Must End All Hearts Are Broken

**_EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED  
><em>**

**_by Mia Desiree_**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Welcome! I posted this story few months ago but my stories got accidentally deleted and when I realized it, they're already gone from the recovery. Moreover I also lost my laptop along with all chapters I've written. But here we are again. I know the story might start as Dean/OC but rest assured she will end up with Castiel. She also might appear as borderline Mary Sue to some of you but there will be explanation for that. After all, with great powers come with great responsibilities _and_ consequences. Just stay tune and you'll find out! ;)

This story will follow closely to the general cannon story line but there will be changes because of her presence and some episodes might not be covered in this story or just mentioned in passing. There will be lots of other original characters as well appearing in the story.

Disclaimer: Supernatural and its associated characters is sadly not mine.

Readers, I do hope you enjoy the story and when you do, please don't forget to drop a review. I'd loved to hear your opinion. It really motivates me to keep writing.

Happy reading!

* * *

><p><strong><em>All Lives Must End, All Hearts Are Broken<em>**

Death was not a strange matter for Elaine. Not a day had gone by without her soaking her hands with blood of the monsters she killed and the victim she failed to save. After all she had been a hunter for a very long time. She had survived the death of her close fellow hunters, her best friends. There were griefs but it was always brief. It passed away so quickly that it never bothered her or clouded her judgement during hunting. Naturally she thought she could handle it. She had witnessed the outcome of people who made a deal with demons, knowing what the inevitable would be.

Then Dean died and everything changed.

She should have realized that she was not as strong and stubborn she thought she was. The forewarning was everywhere around her, following her in forms of other hunters. She had witnessed how blinded they were for revenge sometimes, how deep they fell after losing someone very important to them. But she was too stubborn, too caught up in her denials. Elaine thought she could save him. She put too much faith on her agreement with demons, thinking she could push them to drop the deal.

How stupid she sounded that time. This was Dean Winchester. How could she even think they would just let him go because she asked nicely?

So she tried every single thing she could think of, because this was Dean. He was the one existence she could never be able to run away from─ the only one that could distract her from anything. From the first time she met him until his imminent death─ no matter what he had done, how he hurt her until the end─ Dean always occupied a large portion of her heart. He was her first love, her only weakness.

Not that there was something official between them. Elaine could count days when they were actually spending time together properly without any case or secret questioning. Just them enjoying a break off of hunting life. After all Dean Winchester didn't do relationship. He never believed in commitment outside his family. No matter if she was also a hunter and didn't need protection. For him, it was more of a string of convenient hook ups, where he didn't need to come up with fake identity or poor excuse to leave in the morning. She knew who he was and what he did for living.

'They' started on the night of 'house warming party' they set up to eliminate suspects of their case. It was in a close tight suburban neighborhood and the only way to get in was them working together and pretended to be newlyweds moving in together. Somehow they ended up drinking together out of frustration from dealing with their too shiny neighbors and that led to a proper christening of their new master bedroom. Oh she could still remember how awkward it was on the next morning without alcohol influence and they agreed not to speak of it again even if it was the best sex they both had.

They hooked up again after they found and killed the shape shifter. And again when they accidentally run into each other again, tailing after the same case _again_, a week after that. They were arguing on who deserved to get the case and it ended up with them having sex on the back of his Impala.

That was how it was between them. In a twisted way, yes they did have a relationship. There were nights when they only cuddled in bed, told each other about their latest hunts. If she was lucky, Dean would start talking about his family and she knew new thing about him. Sometimes it astound her how the ruthless, aggressive hunter like Dean Winchester who had obvious distaste against 'chick-flick moment' was able to give her comfort and peace when holding her on his arm. But she never voiced it out loud to him. He would jump out of the window faster than lightning if she did that. There was no commitment between them but they knew not to flirt with other people when the other was around. Jealousy was never a good thing for them to come up during their hunting. They fought, made love, went out on a date, and even celebrated Christmas and New Year together.

Those were the best memories for her, something to hold on every day, even after they got into a huge fight and ended up not talking to each other for two years. But now she would give out _everything_ just to erase those memories. Anything to stop those nightmares from attacking her nights. Anything to remove the guilt and regret that had been eating her from inside. She couldn't sleep without thinking what Dean had to endure in Hell, things that could destroy a human soul and transformed them into a demon, and how no one held the power to save a human soul from Hell.

Even the possible scenarios to reunite with Dean sounded far too stretched. The chance to find Dean herself in Hell when her time came was slim to none. There were demons in there out for her blood, gleeful to have a chance to torture her, and too many souls resided in Hell. Even when she had eternity in Hell to find Dean, she highly doubted she could sneak around as she wishes. Waiting for Dean's soul transformed into a demon and was let out of Hell was impossible. It took years─ hundred even─ for a human soul to mutate and she would already be dead by then.

Dean died and what once part of her life she treasured most turned into something that haunted her forever.

* * *

><p><em>When she joined a group of hunter in Colorado, Elaine never thought her life would turn upside down by a low level demon. The group called her in, telling that they had a demon trapped under their Devil's Trap but still didn't budge from their interrogation. They didn't want to exorcise him, not yet. At least until he spilled out what the hell was going on right now. "I need a moment alone with the demon," she immediately said while stepping into the room, halting the interrogation. The demon was grinning and enjoying how the hunters did not have enough means to make him talk. Holy water was painful but it wouldn't fatally hurt him and exorcism only imprisoned him in Hell for a bit. With so many demons walk freely on Earth, it was easy to summon another demon in here. In the end, all these threats the hunters sending out to him were useless. There was nothing they could do to scare him and even they came to realize it now.<em>

_"He won't budge, even under you, Corbett."_

_Elaine glanced at their prisoner whose eyes lit up in recognition when the hunter called her name, before turning to face the hunter who just spoke to her. "Just because you have more years on experience, O'Donnell, doesn't mean I'm not better than you. Who did you always call when you're stuck, hm?" She watched as he struggled not to say anything because both of them knew how true it was. He grudgingly stepped away from the smirking demon and signaled his team members to do the same. "Now leave me alone. I'll get what you need to know." _

_"The famous Elaine Corbett decides to grace me with her presence," the demon drawled. "Am I supposed to be scared now?"_

_"Oh you can choose not to," she pulled out an engraved blade from inside her jacket. "but I suppose you might recognize this." she added when she noticed the narrowed look from him. "You demons had been trying to hide these weapons away from hunters for centuries, I heard."_

_The demon growled. Gone was the pretense smirk on his face. "You lied!" he snarled. That woman might be well known among his kind for various reason─ he had heard whispers of how she managed to snag important knowledge about demons in exchange of almost nothing. Surely his fellow demon wouldn't be so stupid to let her have that weapon. Those things were heavily guarded down there and only few could enter the treasury as they pleased. He didn't believe any of those few willingly gave it to her. She must be bluffing. That blade- no matter how strikingly familiar it was- couldn't be an original._

_"Am I?"_

_She twirled the blade before slashing at his shoulder, causing him to scream in pain. He didn't need to look at his wound to find sparks of his demonic energy there. Fuck. How did that weapon ended up in her hand, of all people? And why didn't he hear of this before? He glared at her, while trying to control his breathing. With that weapon on her hand, the game had changed tide. If he made a wrong move, he would lose the upper hand and possibly his own life. He had to think quickly, how to make her hesitate on killing him. The other hunters seemed to be clueless on why demons suddenly roamed freely on earth, but he doubt so did she. If she was also clueless, she wouldn't send other hunters away. No, she knew what happened but there was something she wanted to know. Something that she was afraid to let others to know._

_"Who lead you now?"_

_He stared at her, disbelief on what she said, and then snorted. "Are you that clueless?" He asked, sneering. "What makes you think we have a leader?"_

_"Maybe because I know Azazel is the one behind this scheme and the Winchesters already killed him. He planned to raise a demon army, for whatever reason, and I know his golden child refused to take over his responsibility. So who is your general now? Is it Lilith? Is she going to continue what Azazel planned?"_

_His expression morphed into a scowl, hearing the name of the first demon. "How did you know about her?"_

_Elaine sighed. "When did you demons ever learn? I always know everything." She circled the demon around before settling down behind him and pressed the blade on his neck. "I'm really cranky lately so I advise you: don't play games with me right now. One stupid move, one wrong answer," she leaned to him and whispered lowly, "and you're a dead demon. Who. Is. Your. Leader?"_

_He hissed in pain when she pressed her blade closer, drawing blood slightly. "And even if you know who our leader is, if there is one, do you think you can save him?" he snapped, "there's nothing on Earth that could save him from his fate. Dean Winchester is already a dead man walking!"_

_"What?" Her blood ran cold hearing his name mentioned. Her grip on the blade slightly faltered but she managed to keep it steady. Why did the demon associate Dean with death? Did something happen to him? Bobby didn't even mention something wrong with Dean on their last call. "What did you just say?" Her voice slightly trembled as she tried to ignore the instinct to just run him through with her blade._

_His eyes widened in horrid realization. Cursed his brain for not thinking right! How could he even speak about him? The demon closed his eyes in resignation for that blade to plunge through his chest... but nothing happened. That was weird. He should be dead right now, unless... His smirk returned and posture straightened. She had no idea what happened to Dean Winchester few days ago. "How about that," he drawled, "there's actually something Elaine Corbett doesn't know about Dean─" he screamed out in pain when Elaine stabbed him on his stomach. "You fucking bitch!"  
><em>

_"Don't even think you can play yourself out of this," she hissed, "What the hell did you just say about Dean Winchester?" When he hesitated for few seconds, Elaine stabbed him again on his knee, eliciting another scream of pain from him. "What did you do to him?!"_

_"He made a deal, okay?! He made a fucking deal to bring back Sam Winchester from death! He will die in a year and there's nothing you can do to save him!"_

_Her eyes widened in shock. Elaine could feel her insides turned cold and her heart clenched painfully as she heard his answer. What did he just say? Dean did what? That couldn't be true. How did it─ no, the demon must be lying. Dean couldn't have only a year to live. This was just a trick to distract her and buy more time to save himself. She glanced at the demon who started to regain his composure. For a small fry demon, he sure knew a lot about her and Dean. But he wouldn't dare to lie about it. He did seem shock at himself for blurting out earlier. She still remembered his pale expression matched with hers just as he mentioned Dean's name._

_But… if he really was telling the truth then… then why didn't Bobby tell her before? He had many chances to tell her without Dean knowing. He, of all people, know about her and Dean, how she always kept a track on Dean. Why did he keep it away from her? Did he think she couldn't handle the news? __"Who hold his contract?" Her voice trembled slightly mixed with anger and fear._

_This time she didn't need to use her blade again because he quickly answered, "I don't know! I swear! But I think it's Lilith. She has all the crossroads contract last time I heard. That's all I know!" He heaved out a relieved sigh when Elaine seemed to believe him and took a step away from him again. Just when he started to calm down and gained confidence on his plan, the female hunter spun around quickly and plunged her blade right into his heart._

_Elaine stared down the demon corpse coldly before stalking out of the room and the bunker. She ignored the other hunters' enraged shouting when they found out she killed their hostage, and frantically dialed down Bobby's number. "Tell me it isn't true," she begged right after the line connected. "Tell me Dean is fine and the demon is just baiting on me," she stopped him in the middle of his babbling. The similar pain on her gut she felt earlier when the demon spoke of Dean's deal returned again when there was only silence from the other side. It was really the truth. The demon didn't lie to her. Dean was really going to die. A sob escaped her lips as she spoke again, "what the hell happened there, Bobby?"_

* * *

><p>The first few weeks after Dean died, she blamed everything on him. He caused this to himself. Not her or Bobby or Sam. Hell, not even Ruby who messed up everything in the end. It was all his. He died. He <em>left<em> her. She had tried everything to save him and every _single_ time he shot down all of her idea. He never believed in her. Ever since she found out about his deal, when she decided to help them out on a case to reconnect with him, he avoided her completely, like she was a plague. The words that came out from his mouth since then were out of hatred and anger─ as if in his eyes, she was nothing more than a monster.

Elaine admitted that what happened that night in Seattle was partially her fault. She should have told Dean to see what he wanted, instead of making the decision herself. But at least he should understand that all she wanted was to protect him. At the very least, he should give her the benefit of doubt instead of accusing her for being involved in his dad's disappearance. He always voiced out his disgust that she was willing to work with demons and monster, but to use that as a base to blame everything on her... he should have known better.

_Everything was different now that she knew what was on stake if she failed. It was easier in the past to play both sides and manage to stay afloat when she had no personal vendetta to accomplish. Now she had to hunt down more demons but carefully. She had to find out who actually held Dean's deal. Few demons said it was Lilith but she didn't believe them. At least not until she could find out why that demon wanted Dean's soul really badly that she ordered her lackey to give him only one year. But Elaine knew if she made a wrong move, both Dean and Sam died. Every day she had to handle pressures from the other hunters who wanted to know what the hell was going on, from Sam who always checked on her if she already found a loophole or not, and from Dean who demanded her to stop trying to help him out._

_Imagine her surprise when she stepped out of the elevator and found a familiar back barely hidden inside her apartment. Her face immediately lit up, complete with a smile for the first time in weeks. The tiredness she felt earlier and her desire to draw herself a long, relaxing bath instantly disappeared. This was the first time he approached her... on his own term. She was finally able to be alone with him again after two years without any interruption._

_"Let me guess," Elaine spoke out, causing him to turn around, "Bobby?"_

_"He's the only one I know who keep tabs on you," Dean walked out of the shadow, looking around, "I see you kept the layout and furniture."_

_Her smile widened with a slight blush, knowing that he still remembered her old apartment, "well, I was feeling a bit nostalgic at the moment." She took off her heels and put down her bag. Then she approached him─ causing Dean stiffened at their close proximity─ and sighed before stepping away to keep a distance. "You're not here to rekindle memories, I guess."_

_"What the hell do you want from me, Corbett?"_

_Now he always avoided calling out her first name and his tone always filled with anger and distrust. She even noticed him looking around her apartment in wary, as if he believed she was hiding a demon inside to jump on him._

_"What makes you think I want something from you, Dean?" she asked, feeling the weariness returned again. How foolish of her to think that he was here to forgive her._

_Dean trained his eyes on her as he moved closer to her until they were few inches apart. "You were literally gone from my life since Seattle two years ago and suddenly you dazzle in as if nothing happened? You know I'm not going to do anything with my deal yet you keep giving hope to Sam. I know when someone needs something from us and I can smell it from you miles away," he hissed, "so tell me what the hell you want and leave us alone."_

_There it was again. It always came back to two years ago for Dean. She had been careful not to mention that night, not even to Bobby, in hope they could make a fresh start again. Yet it kept haunting her back. "Dean─" she raised her hand to touch his cheek when his hand shot up and grabbed her wrist in place, and sighed. He always went to his defense mode whenever she tried to touch him. How could she change his mind if even her touch was disgusting for him? "Believe it or not, Dean, I really don't want anything from you. I just want to help."_

_"Is that it now? You come back because you heard my deal and now you take a pity on me?" He asked, sounding angrier every second, "I don't need it, Corbett!" He slapped her hand away, a bit more forceful. "Stay away from my deal!"_

_"I __**don't**__ pity you, Dean. For God's sake, let me help you! You know I can help. I knew demons, Dean, you know that. I can─"_

_"You can what, huh? What makes you think your friends," he spat out the last word in distaste, "will help you willingly? If someone messes up this deal, Sam dies. I'm not going to let my brother dies because some idiot refuses to get that SHE IS NOT NEEDED!"_

_Elaine flinched when hearing that. "Then what about me, Dean?" she whispered, choking in her tears, "Am I supposed to just take a step back and let you die just like that? Are you expecting me to watch the man I lo─" she stopped abruptly, knowing what she almost confessed. "I know that you do this because of Sam, but Dean, please─ For God's sake, please think of yourself first sometimes."_

_Apparently her plea didn't work anymore to him because now his jaw was clenched tight, a sign that he tried not to release his anger. "Sam is the only family I have left and you want me to think of myself above him?"_

_"Fine!" she shouted back, the feelings she held back for weeks had been unleashed. She had done everything, anything to make him understand his situation affected everyone around him. "Then think of Sam if you left him! Think of him living a life that cost his brother's life! Do you think he can just move on like that, Dean? Do you think he can just accept you died and do nothing? What if those demons taunt him or Bobby or me about your doomed life in Hell? What if they tricked us in hope we can save you from Hell? There are demons out there, out for Sam's blood! Not to mentions hunters didn't trust you and Bobby anymore. You saw what Gordon tried to do to him. So yes Dean, I want you to think of yourself. I want you to be selfish!"_

_Her breaths labored and short as she stared at him with wide eyes and her tears streaked face. When Dean didn't make any move to either reject her or something else, Elaine stepped forward and touched his hand slightly while watching his reaction. He glanced towards their touching hands but no other response so she curled her hands around him. "We'll find a way," her voice dropped down, slightly hoarse from shouting just now, "please, for you and Sam. We can save both of you." Just as she thought he would agree with her, Dean seemed to snap out of his stupor and stepped away from her. Desperate to hold him back, to make sure he wouldn't slip away from her again, Elaine reached out for his hand again, "Dean─" but he grabbed her hair instead and twisted it painfully._

_"Listen to me carefully, Corbett. I don't want your help and you are not going to do anything with my contract." He grabbed her other hand who tried to struggle her away from him, "you mess it up and I'm going to hunt you down. I will torture you worse than any demons or monsters ever done to you and I will enjoy it. Got that?" When she refused to answer, he shook her body, "Corbett!"_

_"No! I told you I'm not going to just let you die like that!"_

_"You─!" His hand itched to grab the gun hidden on his back and shot her so he could be done with it but being on this apartment with identical layout as the one two years ago, it clouded his mind. It reminded him of times he spent in there, the time before his father missing and all he worried about was his father finding out his secret adventures with Elaine. In one side he was actually happy to know someone outside his family cared for him but on the other side, he couldn't forget what she had done two years ago. Seeing her tears, how she seemed to genuinely want to help him, only made him doubting his decision. Did he do the right thing to keep pushing her away? But then he remembered what happened, why they never saw each other again, and his resolution was returned. This had to stop."Keep away from us. You don't want to mess up with me, Corbett. Trust me." And he quickly stormed away from the apartment, before he changed his mind about her. Again._

_"Dean! Don't leave, Dean!"_

* * *

><p>Yet she couldn't walk away that night and leave him to his fate. Not this time. She let him leave her door that night in Seattle and it almost ate her alive. Elaine didn't want to imagine how she would feel when he left her forever. He wasn't ready to leave and she wasn't ready to lose him and nor did Sam. Even though every fact screamed out that it was impossible. No one ever broke a soul contract, not completely and never on their term. There was always a catch if one wanted to change term on their contract. Other than her, she had never heard anyone who managed to have enough leverage to bargain with the crossroads demon. Dean, especially, would rather die thousand times than become a demon's lackey, as he graciously pointed at her numerous time before.<p>

At least this time she had Sam and Bobby on her side, each having their own research to find a way. More people to work out how to keep him here. This time she would not let Dean slip away from her fingers. She would not let any demons took him away from her.

Elaine was not going to lose him.

Or so she believed. Despite everything she had done, she couldn't save Dean. Until his last day, Dean still didn't trust her and decided on his own way to confront Lilith. Did she deserve a cold shoulder after what she had done three years ago? Elaine couldn't believe how completely blinded and stubborn Dean was. She had tried to prove it to him, over the year, that she really had no hidden agenda other than trying to protect him. Was it so wrong to accept her help that she had to beg it to him?

"You okay?" Bobby asked quietly, almost startling her.

Elaine only shrugged her shoulder. Her watery eyes still fixated on the fresh hole they just dug up for Dean. This was it. Few more minutes after this and she wouldn't be able to look at his face. There wouldn't be any miracle to come, not that she believed in God. Dean was gone. His soul was probably sent to Hell already and the torture had started by now. He would become a demon after hundred years of endless tortures, give or take few tortures.

She had lost him.

"I still believe we should burn and salt him." He spoke out again, still upset that the other two went against his advice. It was a common sense among hunters. Never to let an unattended corpse since it could return as a ghost or something else.

"It's Sam's decision, Bobby. He's the real family in here." Not that her opinion would matter to Sam. That boy had ignored her completely after throwing tantrum on how useless she was. Had it not been for Bobby, she doubted she would be allowed to stand few feet away from Dean's body or even touch it. "Six months are long enough for him to give up."

Bobby heaved out a sigh, "yeah still..."

None of them wanted to make a burial ceremony for Dean─ the sooner they couldn't see his body anymore, the better. Sam was very bristled when she approached the coffin for her final farewell. Bobby had to make sure he had a strong grip on the boy when Elaine kissed Dean's cold lips because Sam looked like he was ready to snap her neck with his bare hand. Not that she blamed him. She had promised him so many times over the year that she would save Dean, elevating his hope so high and she just slammed it down to pieces. When Elaine finally stepped away from the coffin, Sam shrugged Bobby's grip on him away and pushed her out of way before crouching down to close the coffin.

The burial process ended fairly quickly─ they gave him a simple grave without any fancy stone or anything, only a wooden cross to mark where they could dig up his body later, and Sam immediately walked to the Impala and drove away without saying any words, not even goodbye, to them. Elaine didn't have any will anymore to turn around and follow him. If Sam didn't want to spend time with them anymore, then let him be. She had had enough to save anyone without her consent anymore. If Sam wanted to be on suicide mission, then she wouldn't make a protest against it. She was too exhausted already, physically and mentally.

Everything she had done and sacrificed this past year had gone to waste.

"Aren't you going to chase him?"

"I don't care."

Bobby stared at her full of worry. Her tone was hollow and her eyes were vacant─ the signs were too familiar for him. He had seen it in the mirror for days after his wife died, right before he fell into depression. "You wanna talk about it?" He would be damned if he let her go down to the same path with him.

"No."

"El..." Bobby sighed.

"I said no, Bobby."

Elaine kept her gaze trained at his grave even though she had no idea why she was still standing here. Was she expecting Dean to return alive this soon so she could help him out? That was some miracle that could never happen. Not to her. Dean was gone and left nothing behind for her─ no goodbyes or even a closure, only a gaping hole in her broken heart. Nothing in this world could take this numbness away from her. Now she had to carry this regret and anger with herself forever.

She would never see his loop sided grin or rile him up until he spluttered out and leave. There would be no point on keeping a pack of beer on her fridge or making a pie once a while, hoping for him to visit her apartment. He would never come back anymore. She heard what Lilith said when that demon tortured her. Lilith needed Dean in Hell. There was no way Lilith would let him go that easily. Even if Dean managed to somehow get out from Hell, then what? Would she even able to see him, to be with him again? Would he even forgive her and let her stay? But deep inside, she knew she didn't care about that. She didn't care if Dean returned with his hatred on her intact.

Oh how she would give anything as long as he was alive. She didn't even care if she wasn't allowed to see him again. All she wanted was for him to not dead.

"Don't leave me, Dean..." she whispered, "please don't leave me alone in here."

* * *

><p><em>Please tell me what you think :)<em>


	2. Dead Man Rising

**_Dead Man Rising_**

The church was void of any living things when she entered. Only the clicking sound of her heels against the marble floor could be heard, breaking the cold silence previously surrounding the building. Elaine ventured around the benches placidly while her eyes explored her surrounding warily. Her posture was stiff and in alert, in case a demon or something else decided to jump on her. Even with the protection of holy ground, she still wasn't so sure of her safety if she let her guard down─ regardless that every time she visited this church, she always left unscathed and never encountered any sneak attack. She paused when she reached the other end of the benches and with one more last look around to make sure she was really alone before stepping inside the wooden cubicle hidden behind the curtain. It was strange, now that she thought about it, the numbers of times she had sat on the small cubicles in the last four months and how more comfortable she felt compared to other place, even on her own house. Four months ago, the only way she would willingly enter a church was when she needed to look into lore and consulted with the local priest. Other than that she would avoid churches as if they were infected by fatal diseases.

She never believed on this religious crap─ the blind promise of salvation and peacefulness in the end so long as they had faith. If there were indeed God and His Angels above, where were they when demons roamed the earth freely and caused destruction on their path? What good would a faith be when the monsters coming on their doorsteps, taking every life they could reap, and no one was there to save them? Where were they when she desperately sought help for Dean? Where were they when Dean was on the brink of his death? Wasn't that what they supposed to be good at? Giving a miracle to those who supposedly lost their way in the world, as a proof that He existed─ that He would never abandon humans completely. A miracle to show that even if they forgot about Him, He would still help them.

So where were they when she desperately needed a miracle?

Yet there she was, four months later, sitting in a confession room, ready to pour her heart out. Her train of thought was disturbed when she heard noises from the joint cubicle next to her. Elaine automatically reached into her inside jacket, grasping her blade, in instinct.

"Right on time as always, Elaine."

She glanced and relieved to see familiar silhouette of a man settling himself in there. "You scared me, Father. It's not a good thing a young woman like me to have a heart attack," she replied, amused when she heard snort from the joint cubicle next to her. Her smile disappeared as she closed her eyes and whispered the same words she gave to him on her every visit, "I killed again..."

"Elaine..."

"I _have_ to kill them, Father, I..." she paused, "It's my job. It's what I'm supposed to do. If I don't kill them, they... I have to."

The Reverend sighed and, as if there was script to be read in front of him, asked with disinterested tone, "Did you kill them because they deserve to die?"

She shook her head, "no… They actually don't. They're completely innocence, normal people. But then again, they can't be that innocence if a demon can possess them easily like that… right?"

There was only silence came out from the Reverend, long enough that Elaine almost decided to check on him. He couldn't get a heart attack just because she mentioned demon possession. He heard it so many times from her already before, that it shouldn't come as surprise to him. "You know," he finally responded, "people come to confess because they wanted to change, they needed a fresh new life. You keep coming here almost every week now and your confession is always the same. What you did is justifiable. Demons should be killed in sight before they caused trouble on earth. You know that. You've been doing it for years now." The reverend paused, "Elaine… Why are you really here?"

Elaine looked down and bit her lips, didn't know how to answer. He was right. Why did she come here, confessing everything she had done the past week to a reverend she barely met before four months ago? She shouldn't feel this way─ guilty and ashamed for killing a demon or feel the need to justify her action to someone. Demons were not supposed to be pitied. They might be a human soul before all those years in Hell, but they weren't anymore. None of them remembered their human life, even she doubted Ruby actually remembered her past. Her hand unconsciously clenched into a fist, her nails biting into her skin, drawing blood from it, when he crept back to her mind. Did he already become one of them now? Had his soul been thoroughly ripped apart and tortured that no shred of humanity left inside of him anymore? Every time she crossed path with a demon, she always feared it was Dean and she had to kill him. Would he even remember her after being turned into a demon?

"Elaine?"

She shook her head, trying to get it off her mind. It was all she could think of every time she finished her hunting. Every single night, the fear that the demon she killed might be Dean haunted her dreams. "Nothing. I just..." she stopped herself before continuing. The words she was about to say sounded strange even on her mind. What good would it do to her by coming here? "I just want to drop by and say hi. Give you a story or two about what's going out on there. Wouldn't want you to hole up in this dump alone. Really Father, every time I come here, it's always empty. Are you sure this church is actually active?" She winched hearing how lame her attempt to subtly change their conversation subject. At least the Reverend couldn't see her expression. Her tone might be light and playful but her facial expression betrayed her completely. It was obvious from how fake and tight her smile was and her body trembling that she tried to hold back her tears. Elaine weakly scoffed realizing how fragile she had become─ all because she still refused to let it go.

The Reverend stared at the thin latice separating them. He didn't need for it to be removed to know her expression. After their first week of meeting, it wasn't hard to notice which tone she used when genuinely teasing him and which when she was actually on the verge of breaking down. But he never pointed it out at her, letting her to think she could still hide herself from him. "Are you sure you want to keep doing this? Hunting down demons when you know it's the very reason you can't sleep at night? There are other hunters capable of doing your jobs. You don't have to stay in this life. No one force─" the Reverend abruptly stopped when he heard the door to the adjoined cubicle loudly opened and clicks of high heels followed. He groaned, knowing those 'carefully chosen' words had backlashed on him, and quickly walked out of the cubicle to stop her, "Elaine!"

Elaine reluctantly stopped but she refused to turn around and let him saw her tears. "What?" she winched at how high her voice became. It was supposed to be a warning but then again how much threat one could carry while crying? She took a deep breath, quickly wiped her tears away, before asking again in much calmer tone, "what, Father?"

The Reverend paused, noticing how stiff her posture was, "it will be alright," he finally said.

"It will be fine, you will move on, everything will be good after that, it will work out," she mimicked then rolled her eyes, "honestly Father, I'm not a naïve girl who thought she just lost the love of her life. I know what happened and what will happen to him, I know I won't be able to see him again, I just can't─" her breath hitched when she stumbled on the last part, unable to say it out loud─_ I just can't let it go._

"Not that nonsense. What I mean is..." the Reverend walked closer towards her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was hard not to ignore the suppressed tiredness on her eyes. Ever since they met four months ago, it had been his outmost priority to make it disappeared─ even if all he could do was to give her consoling words. "_Everything_ will be alright, as in it will all turn back to the way it used to be. Trust me."

Elaine turned around slowly, confusion clearly written on her face. She watched his face closely, trying to find the meaning behind his vague answer. "I don't─"

"Of course you don't," he answered dismissively, patting her cheek. "You don't need to understand, just live through it."

"I don't like your tone," she swatted his hand away and her eyes narrowed as he let out a laugh. "And I don't like your laugh either," she added.

"When you ever like it, Elaine?" the Reverend countered back.

She huffed─ her eyes roamed around the empty church, refusing to settle to the Reverend, when they settled on a new stained glass window near the entrance. Normally Elaine would just walk away, ignoring it while the Reverend babbling about the meaning behind it, but this one was different. It was simpler compared to other windows─ there were only two figures on that glass, one was standing and the other was suspended in the air reaching out to the other and they were engulfed in some kind of fire. Elaine swore she never saw this picture before in her life yet there was something familiar and nostalgic with the one who stood in the midst of fire. She took a step closer, slightly in daze, towards it so she could inspect it more closely. "That's a new one," she turned slightly to the Reverend who stood few steps away behind her, "any hidden meaning behind it?"

A victory smile crept into his face─ he knew she would have noticed it. He had it commissioned as soon as possible for a reason. "Like it? it's just a story… how an angel can save a human's soul from anywhere─ _even _from deepest pit of Hell."

"That's bullshit," Elaine rolled her eyes as her earlier fascination towards the mosaic quickly diminished, "you're just playing it to get your point."

"Well, you could interpret it as in literal Hell in one way, but Hell could mean something else, you know. The pain, never ending suffering, emptiness," he glanced down at her, "sounds familiar?"

"So what?" she scoffed, "am I supposed to believe that one day an angel will come to save me from my misery? Don't be silly, Father. The angels, even if they really existed, are lazy bum who had no care about this world."

He sighed, "God and the angels─"

"─don't you dare say they work in mysterious way!" Elaine snarled as she pushed at him. "I'm not you who believe on those creatures and follow them blindly, Father. I've seen worse things in this world and nothing, _no single thing_, can stop them except hunters. I've never even seen any angel helping us in my entire life so don't you expect me to believe in them. Ever! I _pray_ over and over , like you said, and still nothing! They don't exist, Father! When will you get that through your thick skull?" The knowing look she saw on the Reverend was enough to stop her ranting. Elaine turned away from him and she could feel headache and shooting pain on her chest settling in again. "Forgive me," she quietly said after few moments of silence. "I shouldn't─ I'm just─" she sighed, "it's been a long day for me."

She was really exhausted. All these months trying any kind of way to save Dean, if there was actually any, was draining her, physically and emotionally. All of her friends kept telling her to just _stop _and start moving on. But how could she? This was Dean. How could she just leave him down in the pit? How could they expect her to enjoy her life when he was down there being tortured every second?

The Reverend paid no heed to her outburst and instead focused on the new mosaic, "do you know why the angel saved that man, Elaine?"

Elaine rolled her eyes, knowing that it was pointless because he would tell her the real answer in the end, but she decided to humor him. "Because he believes in them?" she said, mocking his earlier statement.

"Because the angel believes that there is something good and righteous inside him." The Reverend glanced at Elaine who seemed like she was on the verge of bursting into another argument, "miracle do happen for people who lost, Elaine. Angels will come even for people who believe themselves don't deserve any help. Your time will come soon enough, as long as you're patient. It will come." He paused, watching as her shoulder no longer stiffened as before, "you're… not dealing with him anymore, weren't you?"

"Trust me Father, the next time I met that vermin, his head will no longer attached to his body."

The Reverend frowned at how her anger quickly escalated at the mention of him. "You promised me you won't look after him," his tone was laced with accusation. "I told you─"

"─I know what you told me, Father," Elaine huffed then her eyes caught on the new mosaic again. Her mind, once again, traveled back to the good days she had before everything went down in a night. It seemed to be a very long time ago, like a vague memory she wasn't sure she had, right now. "Do you really think it could happen?" she asked softly. There was no mistaken on the hope swelling up behind her tone.

"I believe so."

"It's been four months already."

She was quite surprised when the Reverend didn't say anything. Usually he would use this opportunity to butt in and try to convince her to _believe_. Gosh, he really overused that word on her every visit starting four months ago that it almost meant nothing to her anymore. _Believe. _What was the use of her believing in something when no one even believed in her anymore─ not even herself? If only reality was as easy as he made it sound. She tried to pray for his rescue, just like what the Reverend advised, but there was nothing. No miracle, no proof, nothing. Dean was still in Hell and she was losing hope to get him out.

"What happened, Elaine?"

_It took her two weeks before she finally snapped out and left the bed. There was nothing to gain if she kept drowning in her sorrow and did nothing. Dean would not return back if she wallowed in her self pity. And it was better if she was the one who paid the cost rather than Sam. Elaine then called in few hunters she trusted to repay their debt on her. With a rumor of her going bat crazy after Dean's death, she was quite surprised to find all of them showed up in her apartment. Neither of them backed down even after she explained her almost impossible goals. It took them few days to pack up her belongings─ especially her book and rare item collections─ and moved them to her new house in the outskirt of Minneapolis, closer to where Bobby lived, and served as their main base. _

_Their first and foremost objective was to keep Sam saved, which was the easiest compared to the other. Even if they had to do it inconspicuously so not to push her up the list of anyone he wanted dead. The next one was quite tricky─ to find her demon informant who bailed on her when Dean's deadline almost came up. He knew a way to save Dean from Hell and she intended to push him through it. This was where it got messier. That accursed demon knew her better than anyone─ which meant he could predict what she was trying to do._

_He managed to hide himself right before they started tracking him._

_It took Elaine almost four months before she finally managed to pinpoint his hiding location. That annoying pest was able to elude every trap her team carefully put. Not that she could blame the other members in her team─ she had her own fare of distractions as well. How many times did she kill demons she managed to capture just because they mentioned __**his **__name? She had to admit that demon was indeed capable of thoroughly hiding his existence that only handful of demons knew where he was. It didn't strike her as a surprise as well that when she finally infiltrated his hiding place, he patiently sat on his armchair with two glasses of wine and an opened bottle on the side table._

_"Wine? I recall you quite enjoyed Chateau Cos-d'Estournel 1982 last time I saw you." He threw her a pointed look when Elaine shot both glasses and the bottle. "Now that's a waste of good wine. Not my preference but I have to admit it left rather pleasant taste."_

_Elaine stalked towards the demon angrily until she was few inches away and cocked her gun at his head. "You fucking vermin!" she snarled, "In case you're too dimwit to understand, our deal means you come and beck when I call!"_

_The demon raised his eyebrow, "I do come when you call. I don't see what the fuss in here."_

_"Don't play around with me, Crowley. We have a deal. Let's get it over with."_

_"Ah yes, that," Crowley walked away from her and casually opened a drawer to get new set of glasses. "Slight change of plan." He poured them with Craig this time. "_We_ need to keep you alive apparently," then he took a sip, unconcerned that she still trained her gun at him with a demon blade on her hip. "Isn't that wonderful news? Oh, look at you. All disappointed that you didn't get to die today. Didn't anyone ever teach you to treasure your own life?"_

_Crowley barely managed to hide a smirk when he noticed her gun was slightly lowered. "What?" she whispered. This was not what she expected to happen. She thought she might need another leverages against him so he would finish his end of deal. But not this. Lilith had made sure her life was so miserable, sending demons after demons that she barely had time to rest─ apparently she was their main target after Dean was deported to Hell. Now she had offered herself at demons' mercy─ so long as they released Dean from downstairs─ but that blasted demon decided to change her mind?_

_"Yes confusing, I know," he sighed loudly, "but that's a direct order apparently. So, now that we established your soul is no longer urgently required, I think we can conclude our secret meeting, hm? Dean Winchester might not be here but I heard you're secretly taking his brother under your wing now," he snorted amusedly, "can't stay away from those monkeys, can you? You should─" he was stopped abruptly when her blasted demon blade was pressed on his throat. "Really?" he rolled his eyes, "since when are you on 'shoot-first-ask-later' policy?"_

_"The deal is off when I say it's off, Crowley," she growled._

_"For your own good, darling, I suggest you forget him and move on already. Look at you, dressed in that hideous thing and," he sniffed, "smell like a car's perfume. Goodness, did you really stay on the road?" Before Elaine could react, he grabbed her arm and twisted it around until she yelled out in pain and dropped down the blade. "You have a team to manage and other demons to hunt I heard. Chop, chop. They might think you died too."_

_"There has to be way! You're the king of crossroads demon. Think!"_

_"Let me think…" he pretended to think hard before throwing her an exasperated look, "Nope. There is _none_. The soul exchange was the only way you can return his soul back here and you have no soul worth as his was. So no deal."_

_It took him a matter of blink to vanish from her completely. Elaine spun around to find he was nowhere in sight and threw her gun away in anger. "Crowley! Get back here, you bastard!" she shouted to an empty air. _

"─Elaine?"

Elaine blinked, shaking away her thought, and focused back to the present time. The Reverend was staring at her in concern after she dazed off from his last question. "Nothing," she muttered quickly, not wanting to jump into another argument about that vile. For someone who was still green on this thing, he was rather adamant that she was not dealing with Crowley again. She glanced at her watch then realized that she was in the church longer than she expected. If she didn't leave sooner, someone from her team would come to retrieve her. He would immediately launch into his priest phase and reprimand them how being a hunter didn't mean they couldn't start believing. She was definitely not in the mood to hear that for the second time. "I have to go."

"Have you used it? The one I gave you a month ago?"

"Not really," she shrugged her shoulder, "I'm pretty confident the demon blade is way better. Don't have any chance to try that."

"Good." He smiled when she gave him a startled look, "don't let _anyone_ know about that yet. At least not when you're really in danger. Trust me," he added. "It will be valuable to you."

Elaine narrowed her eyes, already feeling the headache creeping back, "you do know I'll hang this over your head if I use that and it cost me my life." When he only grinned back in respond, she had to hold back from screaming out in frustration. "You are an unbelievable priest, you know that?" she huffed, stomping away from him but not before sparing another glance to the new stained glass window.

"I'll see you next week then!" he called out after her, grinning, as she raised her hand for a little wave before disappearing from his sight.

Her car was not the only thing she saw when she stepped out of the church. There was another familiar car parked there with someone leaning on it─ someone who was not supposed to be here if he followed her order two days ago and didn't even bother to look guilty about it. Elaine looked around to ensure no one else was present, either from her team or demons, before approaching him. "You better have a good reason for this," she warned. These church visits were supposed to be a private time and no one was supposed to bother her. Her left eyebrow rose when he waggled a cellphone in front of her. For a moment neither of them moved but their eyes challenged the other to make a movement first. The corner of her lips twitched up when he finally dropped the phone on her open palm. Elaine glanced at the screen before scowling up at him. "If you're trying to─"

"─look at their eyes," he cut in while sweeping his fingers at the screen to zoom in the picture.

Elaine's eyes widened when she realized what he was trying to show her. In her hand were seemed to be picture collection of random people… but with black eyes. "And they are all in the same city?"

"Yep. Possessing people almost at the same time and in the same city. Probably a scout group."

"Lilith?"

"If she still follows her M.O., not on sight. Look at the last picture."

She swiped through the collection until she reached the last one and her mouth fell open. Her head shot up to meet his solemn gaze, eyes still widened and she could feel heavy feeling in her stomach. "He's on the same city? Who's doing the chase?"

"Yeah, he's heading that way. We think it's him. Recognize the woman next to him?"

Elaine squinted her eyes to see clearly half hidden black haired woman in the picture. She had seen that woman before, all of them from the surveillance photo they took of Sam to report to her. "It's the same woman. Did you get a background check on her?"

"Yep." He took out a file from behind his jacket which she snatched and skimmed through it. "A Jane Doe. The doctor declared her brain dead around four months ago and when they pulled her plug…" his voice trailed off. He didn't need to continue for her to know what was happening.

"─she's a demon," Elaine concluded and let out a frustrated sigh, "damn it!" When that woman came into their radar three months ago, she thought Sam was just hooking up with her. Then hopefully by time, he would forget revenging for Dean and settle down in an 'apple-pie' life, just like what Dean would have wanted. She didn't want to go all psycho on the girl and gave Sam another reason to hate her if it turned out that she was a normal civilian. But now she wished she caved into her paranoia. How did she not think a demon might use try to manipulate Sam this way?

The man softened his gaze as he pried the now crumpled file away from her death grip, "what do you want to do? Sooner or later other hunters would get a wind of this and by then it would be hard to control the situation."

"Where are they?" Elaine narrowed her eyes when she noticed how hesitated he was to answer her. "Andy," her tone went down dangerously and her arm folded across the chest. He better answered her at once or things could get ugly. She didn't care if the Reverend heard and admonished her for that. Sam could be in danger!

"Pontiac, Illinois."

* * *

><p>The first thing she noticed was hands pushing her down and a frantic voice barking something at someone else. Every sound was a buzz and ringing on her ears so she blindly reached out to whoever hold her down, crying out at them to stop. Stop whatever they were doing because it only gave her more pain. Everything was too bright for her eyes to register where she was or what was happening around her. She increased her struggle, trying to get those hands off of her, but another pair of hand came into play and held her hand down. Someone was screaming but she didn't know who it was. Maybe it was her, maybe it was one of them─ she didn't know.<p>

Elaine had no idea how she ended up in this place nor did she remember what happened before this. Neither did she knew what those people wanted from her. Their voice still sounded muffled on her so she could not recognize who they were. She opened her mouth and let out a scream but someone shoved something into her mouth. Then before she could do anything, something was stabbed into her and Elaine felt lifeless. She could feel her sense began to numb and she started to lose consciousness.

"What the hell would you do that?" He glared at his companion who only rolled her eyes back at him.

"She could bit her tongue off, idiot! Do you want that?" she huffed and glanced at the sleeping woman, "are you going to watch over her or not?"

He scowled at her for suggesting such thing, "of course I will."

"_Don't _do anything stupid. She'll kill you."

When Elaine woke up again, it was in a dark room, more specifically _her _room, which she had no idea how she could get in here. The last thing she remembered was walking out of the church and found Andy was waiting for her, telling news about... Her eyes widened as she remembered about Sam and the woman who turned out to be a demon. She tried to get up, only to find her hands were bound to her chest and her legs were tied together. That was when she realized something was on her mouth.

What the hell happened?

Then she saw a hand draped on her and glanced to see who the owner of that hand. A vein popped into her forehead when she saw it was Andy. Oh that blasted man! She moved her head back slightly before thrusting it forward to butt with his head, causing that man to yelp and wake up suddenly. He looked around wildly to find the culprit only to see the other occupant of the bed was already awake. "Oh, you're awake," he said sheepishly, turning on the light. Honestly he really didn't mean to fall asleep but her bed was too inviting and he was tired from the hunting as well. He cringed when Elaine heightened her glare before reaching to take out the handkerchief on her mouth.

"You stupid─"

"─whoa!" he cut her, "before you decide to kill me, I wasn't the one who tied you up like that okay. It's all Liz!" He raised his hand in surrender, "if I release you, promise me you won't kill me."

"Will you just untie me already?" she snapped back.

Andy approached her cautiously before quickly cut her ropes and stepped away. He let out a relieved breath when he barely missed the fist she tried to deliver on him. "Why Andy, thank you so much for carrying me back to the house and stop me from killing everyone else," he said sarcastically.

Elaine glared at him as she rubbed her wrists to sooth the bruise that was started to appear. She looked around for her demon blade, which wasn't in the room, before trying to get off of the bed. A hand immediately grabbed her shoulder to hold her in place. "What are you doing?" she asked with low voice laced with implied threat if he dared to oppose her.

"Liz said you can't get out of bed."

"Well Liz is not the mother of us. _I_ make the decision here. Back _off_."

Andy winced hearing her tone so he released his grip on her shoulder and stepped away from her. "You should get some rest, you know. It was more intense than last one. We have to sedate you before you killed anyone else."

She turned around, her face was full of fury. "I should be in Pontiac now, not taking a break," she snapped, "and Sam could be in danger right now. And who gave you permission to sleep in _my _bedroom?!"

Andy shrugged his shoulder, "well apparently I'm the only one who can handle you right now. It's okay Steve and Rod are watching over him," then he bent down to plant a kiss on her shoulder. "You know he would just refuse to listen to you outright. Come on," he murmured softly, "I think I know a way to take your mind off of it." His left hand was comfortably rested on her waist while the other ran along her bare arm as he stepped closer to her. His lips trailed few kisses from her shoulder, tilting her head slightly, up to her neck. Elaine closed her eyes and relaxed slightly, enjoying the pampered ministration he gave her. His lips curled up in grin when he heard soft moan from her as he gave a little lick on behind her ear. "Let's get you comfor─ ow, ow, ow!" he yelled out when Elaine reached out to twist his ear painfully, half regretting her decision. If only there was no urgent situation, she would gladly let him do what he wanted. There was nothing better than sex to get rid of this annoying headache. "Okay, okay! Ow─ I'm sorry I knocked you─ ow─ out earlier! Would you stop─ ow─ twisting my ear!?"

Before she could reply, the door to her bedroom opened suddenly and two people bursting in with their gun pointed at them. Elaine rolled her eyes before releasing his ear then faced her sheepish intruders, "really?"

"Well you're making him screaming like a kitten." One of them retracted her weapon then grinned at the scowling fallen man behind Elaine, "for all we knew, you could've trying to kill him."

"Any news?" she asked, not bothering to help him out.

The other woman shrugged her shoulder, "not that I know of. Sam just got into the motel and we haven't seen him since then. Steve and Rod already booked the rooms next to his. If there is anything happen, they will know and help him out, El." She squeezed the shoulder of other woman to offer comfort and sympathy then glanced to the others and motioned them to leave the room. "come now, let's get you rested." She was about to led Elaine to her bathroom when the other woman shrugged away from her. "Elaine…"

"I can't just rest in here and do nothing, Liz," she snapped, "Sam is in a room with a demon and neither Steve nor Rod has a demon blade." Elaine glanced at the clock again, already past midnight. It was too late for her to catch the last flight and she couldn't wait for few more hours to get on the first flight in the morning. Sam would not heed her warning or accept her help if she came alone to him. He had made that clear four months ago when she tried to help him out. The only living person in this world that could make listen to him was Bobby. She glanced at her discarded phone─ should she call him instead? "I have to go," then she decided.

"Where? To Sam? He won't listen to you! You can't just drive to─"

Elaine huffed at her warning, "Yes, I know his problem with me, Liz. I was the one who told you that. I'm going to Bobby and _he_ will make Sam see reason."

"Can't you just call him or something?"

"It's late already. I don't want Bobby to jump into the road and banging down the motel in dead night." Had it been over a year ago, Elaine would choose to wait for the flight rather than the discomfort road trip. Or rather she would not end up in this predicament. But now that she had spent most of her time in the road like others and played both roles as hunted and the hunter with demons, it came out no surprise that she automatically reached out for her duffel bag and packed up her usual things for travelling. Her demon blade was already stashed inside along with another blade the Reverend gave her─ not that she ignored his advice and used it. She just didn't trust her prized weapons to her member, regardless how loyal they were. Most of her guns were already in her car so she didn't need to raid their inventory. Elaine turned around, her duffel bag hoisted in her shoulder, when a hand stopped her from moving. "What?"

"I'm coming with you," she said firmly.

"No!"

"You just got into a panic attack and you're supposed to rest. I'm not having you suffered another attack while driving. It's either me or Andy. Your pick."

Elaine glared at her fellow hunter who seemed to be immune of it before scowling and gave in, "tell Andy to get ready. You're supposed to be in Atlanta already by now," she added when Liz opened her mouth to argue again. "Besides it's easier to order Andy than you."

"That's because he want to get in your knickers," Liz laughed as she dodged a playful smack from her friend. "Tell him to get the car around?"

"Yeah. Do that."

Her shoulder sagged down when Liz left her bedroom and left her alone inside. It happened again and just because of that city name. What made it worse was that her other team members saw it happened. They saw how mentally unstable she was now, proving the rumor that had been going on in hunter community. Elaine sighed and rested her head against the wall. She thought she was already getting better since it had been two weeks since the last attack. The first time it happened, she was hunting down Crowley's inner circle with Liz. They were having lunch when she saw a guy with plaid shirt and leather jacket went inside an Impala. Later when she gain consciousness, Liz told her how freaked out she was, when she suddenly convulsed and writhed in the floor, thinking she was possessed with a demon. Elaine glared at the empty small bottle and used syringe on her nightstand they used to sedate her earlier as if it was their fault for making her this weak.

* * *

><p>Her foul mood slightly lessened when she saw Andy standing straight and still by her car half an hour later. Liz must have said something to him since never had she seen Andy was ready this fast. He didn't even let out any protest when she showed up with a dress and high heels instead of her usual hunting clothes and dumped her duffel bag rather forcefully on him. Elaine was tempted to see his reaction if she took the keys from him but she had to admit she was rather tired. Being knocked out for few hours didn't compensate the lack of sleep she experienced lately. Despite her constant worries over Sam's safety in Pontiac and Bobby's reaction learning the news, they were barely out of the city when she surrendered to the exhaustion and let the deep rumbling sound of her car lulled her to sleep.<p>

It was already morning and they just entered Omaha when Andy woke her up and she reacted rather violently, causing him to lose the steering for a moment and barely escaped a narrow hit to the green car they was about to pass. That, apparently, managed to shake off the threats Liz hung over his head because he reverted back to his usual self. Now she had to endure his nonstop ranting about her apparent lack of self-control until they stopped on the first supermarket they found, for a quick grocery shopping. Bobby was expecting her visit soon after all and she always brought grocery with her─ something to decorate his pantry other than alcohol. Not that she blamed him for that newfound habit. She would have drowned herself in alcohol as well had she not stumbled into that church few days after that day, although sometimes she regretted her decision.

"You should go after Steve and Rod. I'll catch a ride with Bobby," was what she said when they almost arrived in Singer Salvage Yard. True to their promise, those two kept a turn to check in every two hours so she knew they were still alive. Yet the news were still the same every time─ Sam didn't go out of his room since he checked in and there were no movements from the demons as well.

Andy turned his head, his foot slammed down on the brake, pulling her car into a full stop. "No," he said sharply. "Liz told me not to let you out of sight."

"Liz is not our mother and I'm with Bobby Singer," she rolled her eyes, "he is more than capable on helping me out if I get another episode."

"He doesn't even know you have panic attack," Elaine stiffened, knowing he had a point. No one other than Liz, Andy, and the Reverend knew about her frequent panic attacks, until last night at least. Now her team found out how weak she had become. "I'm going in with you."

If it were the other time, she would have teased him for his rare bravery to stand up against her, but she'd really rather not have him around for this. "I'm going to tell him about Sam and his possible suicide mission in here. Things could go a bit heated and I'd rather not have an outsider for this."

"Oh, an outsider, am I?" Andy scowled at her comment.

Elaine glared at him, silently cursing at his annoying ignorance to read the situation, "in this situation, yes you are," she countered back, leaving no opening for argument. "I don't care what you're going to do but you're not to enter that house. Got it?" After she finally received a reluctant and brief nod from him, Elaine went out of the car along with a paper bag of grocery─ her demon blade was already moved into inside of her long coat earlier. "Thanks for driving me," she added quietly before closing the door.

It took her less than ten steps to start regretting her decision for not letting him drove her up to the front door. High heels and a heavy paper bag was definitely not a good combination. Maybe she shouldn't wear high heels. She had no idea what prompted her to change out of her hunting clothes last night. There was no one to impress in Bobby's anyway and she had to change back before they went after… ah, now she remembered why. They would pass by Dean's grave on the way up to Pontiac and she wanted to visit it for the first time after burying him four months ago. Even though she had no idea what she would do in there. She never had the desire to visit someone's graveyard unless to burn their remains and all of her dead hunter friends were salt and burn.

What would normal person do when visiting a graveyard? She vaguely remembered seeing flowers in some graves during her hunting, but she never understood the reason. Why would they even visit in the first place? The dead wouldn't be able to hear them nor could they appreciate the flowers or other offerings, unless they were ghost and it always spelled big trouble in the end.

Elaine took a deep breath, making sure her smile was on place, before taking out the spare key she had to open Bobby's front door only to find that it was unlocked. A frown latched on her face─ Bobby was never one to carelessly let his door unlocked like this. Taking out her demon blade from inside her coat, she navigated her paper bag to hide the blade from view, just for precaution. She highly doubted someone could get a jump on Bobby. He probably just got back from case and really tired that he forgot to lock the door. "Bobby? You there?" she called out while struggling to keep the paper bag steady with only one hand. "I think we should call Sam soon. It's almost six month and─"

"Hey honey, I'm home."

She stopped dead on track hearing that voice. No, no. It's not happening. Her mind couldn't play a trick on her again. There was no way she had an episode again without any warning. No, not in here please, anywhere but here. Slowly Elaine turned her head around, her body trembling as she silently pleading for her mind to stop, to where the voice came from. The paper bag slid away from her grip, causing the contents to spill out in the floor, and she made no move to clean it up. She couldn't even move herself if she wanted to because standing in front of her was Dean─ _alive _and_ breathing _Dean. She took a step back involuntarily, scared at how real her hallucination had become. This was just another attack. He wasn't real. Elaine kept repeating it in her mind in hope for 'Dean' to disappear.

But he didn't.

'Dean' was still there, his arm now slightly raised and opened, as if beckoning her to come for a hug. Her hand unconsciously tightened its grip on her blade in response. She thought to scream out for Andy or even Bobby, but her throat was too dry and no voice came out of her mouth. Then suddenly Bobby appeared in the corner of her eyes, standing beside 'Dean'. Elaine frowned─ never before in her nightmare or hallucination that had Bobby present there. Something was wrong in here. Either her hallucination was now merged with reality and she had to admit herself in mental institute after this or someone was playing a sick, twisted game on her right now.

She raised her blade, ready to attack, when Bobby's voice stopped her, "El, it's him! It's really Dean." It sounded genuinely Bobby but that would mean… Elaine cast her gaze back to 'Dean'. Her grip loosened and the demon blade dropped unceremoniously to the floor as she walked closer towards him in daze. He was real? Did God and the angels really listen to her prayer? Did they give her the first and probably last miracle? Elaine stopped when she was few inches away from him. No… Miracle never happened. Ever. Not to her. Maybe her hallucination was going stronger now because she literally could feel his breath and smelled the leather scent from Impala with a hint of alcohol and gun powder residue she usually associated to him.

'Dean' smiled and spoke again, "hey, El."

She froze on her step. No. It was definitely not Dean. He wouldn't speak her name gently like that, not since two years ago. Yet it made her wondered… if this was really Dean, what would she do? If it were in the romantic movie she sometimes watched, the heroine would jump into his arms, crying happily to see him alive and healthy, as he hoisted her up in a twirl. She would murmur gratefulness while peppering his face with kisses.

But her life was not a movie and Elaine was definitely not those damsels in distress. If this was really Dean, coming back from Hell and looking not guilty in the slightest… well, it shouldn't be hard to figure out what her reaction would be.

Elaine took a step back again─ her hand clenched tight and before he could react, she landed a perfect blow to his jaw, properly knocking him out.

"Elaine!" Bobby exclaimed, utterly shocked at her.

She blinked when Bobby bent down to check on Dean. First in confusion, then her mind started to work properly. There was tingling feeling on her hand, as if she _really_ hit someone and not an illusion. Dean was still on the floor unconscious from her blow. He didn't disappear as he was supposed to when she finally shook out of her episode. Dean was still _here_.

Oh God. It wasn't another hallucination. Everything she just saw was real. She really knocked Dean out. Her eyes widened when her mind finally warped around the sight in front of her.

Dean was alive?

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for those who follow and favorite my story. Glad that you like it.<em>

_Please leave reviews, guys! Thanks so much :)_


	3. Everything is Not Alright

_**Everything is Not Alright**_

"What the hell did you knock him out for?"

It took her quite a while to compose herself and even then Dean still hadn't awake yet. She had half minded to tell Bobby how that unconscious person was not Dean. There was no way she could knock him out for this long. But then again, maybe for someone who had just came back to life, her punch was quite fatal. But with Bobby said that he had done every imaginable test to make sure it wasn't a demon rode Dean out of Hell or other monsters─ silver, holy water, everything─ which came back negatives, then it should be Dean... right? Bobby wouldn't be this calm if he wasn't 100% sure.

She glanced down at the unconscious Dean, unsure on what should she do next. Her hand was half way reaching towards him. Just one touch, one slight touch at his body so that she could be sure it was real. That it was not fragment of her imagination, just like what she still feared. _But what if it was still not real__? _A small voice on the back of her head whispered. She immediately retracted her hand and turned away only to have Bobby stared at her with weird expression. What did he expect her to react? It was logical to try to attack someone who was not supposed to be alive. It wasn't as if she would try to shoot or stab him instead.

"What? At least I didn't shoot him," she defended herself, getting more uncomfortable under his scrutinizing stare, "are you going to tell that you didn't react that way too?"

"Yeah, but you're the one who─" Bobby stopped, watching her expression more closely, "it's getting worse, isn't it?"

Elaine froze on her track, staring back at the old hunter in disbelief, and her mouth slightly opened. Then she caught on what had been transpired behind her back these few months. "Liz's been in contact with you," her hand folded tight in front of her chest as she shook her head slightly with amusement. For the first time in weeks, a small smile adored her face, "I should have known. She was too prying sometimes."

"Did you bring your medications?" he asked quietly.

The smile immediately disappeared as she rolled her eyes, "I'm _fine_, Bobby."

"Yeah, that's why he's knocked out 'cause you're all fine."

What words going to escape her lips died down on her throat when she noticed Dean was slowly coming around. Elaine waited, stiffened in fear anticipation, as he finally sitting up straight but still confused. It took him few seconds before he remembered what happened. Dean immediately jumped into his feet and stared at her in accusation, "you knocked me out!"

It wasn't a dream. Her heart leapt up and beat frantically hearing his voice again properly. It was still hoarse from not being used for four months, but it really was Dean's voice. Bobby was not lying... it was Dean. Not trusting if her voice wouldn't waver or if she was able to hold back the tears that now threatened to come out, Elaine decided to just shrug her shoulder in response. Before she could compose herself and figure out what she should do or say, Dean marched towards her. His hand barely touched her arm when she spontaneously jumped away from his touch. Elaine winched and averted her gaze away when she noticed his stunned and hurt look.

She didn't mean to react that way but guilt suddenly seeped inside her. The first thing Dean would ask her was definitely about Sam and she had no answer for him. How would she tell him that she couldn't be with Sam because he was furious at her, refused to talk to her? And because of that, because she gave him space, a demon got close to him. Or that Sam was also in Pontiac, where demons somehow gathered there.

It was Bobby who broke the painful silence between them. "You heard anything, El?"

Elaine shook her head timidly. The last thing she heard remotely close to Dean was when she was hunting down Crowley, but even that didn't give her promise of getting Dean out. Her mind suddenly traveled to the odd Reverend. He was the only one who seemed to believe Dean could be saved, but there was no way he was behind this... could he?

"Wait, why did you say six months? Why do you wanna call Sam for that?" He turned around to Bobby, accusingly, "you said he's not answering your phone."

"He isn't but it's not like we lost him completely. El got him under surveillance."

Now Dean went around at her. His jaw clenched, a classic sign that his anger was starting to escalate. "What? You're too busy to look after him in person?"

Elaine bit her lips. There it was, just like she predicted. Now she was more convinced that this was really Dean. No one could imitate the genuine concern Dean had for his brother. "In case you forgot, there are lots of hunts to be done. Monster to slay, people to save. The world doesn't revolve around the Winchesters. I have best hunters tailing him in turns," she added when Dean was ready to argue again.

"Could it be Lilith?" Bobby quickly intercepted before they got into another argument.

Elaine shook her head, "I don't think so. Why would she wants you out Hell, especially after..." her voice died down, unable to speak out what they had been through last year. In front of her, Dean also fidgeted uncomfortably. Both being reminded that they didn't exactly part in a good term. Deep down Elaine wanted to ask if he really didn't remember of his time in Hell, if he really was feeling fine, and more importantly... about _them_. Would he still hold grudge at her?

Remembering that this might not be a good time to interrogate him, Elaine shook away those thoughts from her mind. She glanced again at him and added, "she wouldn't let you out looking fine like this." It was true. By appearance, Dean didn't look like someone who had just risen from death. There were no visible scars in his body, not even the ones he had before his death. It was as if whoever saved him healed his body as well. Like Bobby said, his body should be decaying right now.

"Yeah, except for that hand mark," Bobby commented.

Elaine frowned, glancing between those two. That didn't sound like a good thing. Dean never that kind of mark to her knowledge. "What hand mark?" she asked.

Instead of answering her, Dean just rolled up his right sleeve, showing a hand shaped mark on his shoulder she definitely never saw before his death. "Oh my god…" she whispered, realizing why they insisted on something rode him out of Hell. That mark must have been burnt strongly on his soul that it appeared in his physical body as well. Elaine touched his mark gingerly while watching his reaction closely, pointedly ignoring how close she was to him. She could feel his breath and warmth, see his chest rising up and down─ something that she could only dream of for the past four months. One more step and she could reach out to his lips and Dean was aware of that since he slightly leaned towards her.

What he wasn't aware was that the last time their lips touched, his was already cold from death. Remembering that time, Elaine quickly turned her head and stepped away from him.

"Hold up their end of bargain?" Dean said suddenly.

"You think Sam made a deal." Bobby commented then turned to the silent woman beside Dean. "El?"

Elaine bit her lips. Now that she knew Dean had miraculously sent back to life, it did make sense why those demons popping out in Pontiac and why Sam chase after them. The most plausible explanation was indeed Sam making a deal with a demon. But she highly doubted he could strike one. "I don't think Sam can make a deal. No one can make a deal for you." She didn't need to say it out loud to convey the hidden message. Their tight expression showed that it.

"But? You're hiding something."

A pained smile warmed its way to her face. She almost forgot how easy he read her. "There was report on demon sighting in Pontiac, Illinois yesterday. My hunters followed them but they didn't do anything. They just possess humans and stayed there. We thought they might be a scout group but we have no idea what draw them to the city. Well," she glanced at him, "now we know." Although she doubted it was for the very reason going on Dean's mind right now. There was no need for demons to gather around near Dean's grave and does nothing if they were the one who let him go. No, there should be something more behind it. "Sam is in Pontiac as well," she reluctantly added. It was better if he heard it from her first rather than finding out himself, "he's chasing after them. But he's fine, holed up in his motel room somehow," she hurriedly added, seeing his furious expression.

Maybe she should drop the demon companion bomb later, after she found out who it was and what she wanted.

Just as she expected, Dean reacted badly at the news. "And why the hell aren't you there?!" he snarled. Bobby had already disappeared to the backyard, preparing everything they needed to Pontiac. The sooner they got to Pontiac, the better for those two. And him too. "Leaving him alone against demons with no backup?! He's my brother. You're supposed to look after him!"

"Oh? Remind me again, please. When did we discuss about that arrangement?" she retorted back without thinking first. Right after the last word escaped her lips, she immediately regretted it. Something must went wrong with her mind. Why did she keep reminding him of how torn their relationship was before his death?

To her surprise, Dean didn't say anything back or get angry like he usually did. If she didn't know him any better, she could have sworn it was guilt that appeared on his face. As if he was trying to ignore everything that had happened from that night in Seattle up until his death. As though there was no bitterness between them. But Elaine knew that wasn't the truth. Dean was not the person who forgave and forgot that easily. He must be too worried about Sam to remember he was supposed to hate her.

When he reunited with Sam again, when everything was back to the way they were before his death, he would start hating her again and she would have to stay away from him again.

Dean opened his mouth, ready to argue back, but realized she was right. They never had that discussion. He had just assumed that she would protect Sam after he died, regardless of what happened. At least to keep demons away from him. He thought she would be understanding, just like she always did, and helped Sam move on with his life. Wasn't that what she kept saying in their numerous arguments, her reason to push him to fight the deal? She knew he would do anything for Sam so why didn't she help him out? Why did she keep her distance from Sam? She never had a problem on insisting to be a part of his life when he hated her and tried to push her away. So why would Sam be any different? Dean glanced at her─ he was stunned, hurt, but not really surprised when she flinched away from his touch or even knocked him out earlier. After what happened on their last confrontation, he wouldn't blame her to react that way.

That was how Bobby found them when he returned inside─ standing awkwardly still while stealing a glance at each other when the other was not looking, causing him to roll his eyes. He had purposefully went away to give them a private time to talk things through, knowing what happened between those two before Dean died and what Elaine had gone through afterwards. Just one talk and they could go on with their life in peace, regardless their decision. Yet those two decided to prove to him how utterly stubborn and prideful they could be. He thought they would learn a lesson after the last 'lover spat'─ God knows what was the reason for that. He had a feeling he'd rather not know about it─ and started to _talk_ properly.

Sometimes he hated the fact that he seemed to be the only logical person in this world.

"Car's ready," he finally spoke out, breaking the silence and startling the others.

"Great!" Dean said loudly, ignoring the yammering in his heart, but rather glad that Bobby interrupted them. He was lost at words to talk to her, didn't know where to begin, or even what to do. Before he could make a scene again, he immediately stalked away from the room. God, that was awkward. Elaine didn't even bother to continue their conversation and she _always_ found something to talk to. Dean shook his head─ this was not the time to think about her. Finding Sam was his outmost priority and he could be in danger right now.

"El?" Bobby's voice was heard from behind him.

There was a pause before she answered him, her voice carried out faintly in the room, "I'm not coming."

And Dean stopped dead on his track. He turned around, completely surprised at her answer. "What the hell, El?!" he shouted, before Bobby had a chance to react, and walked back towards her. "First you don't want to look after Sam and now you don't want to help him?!" His gaze glowered down at her.

What she wanted to shout back was that she was scared to be around him again, or if Sam would tell him everything that happened on the first month after he died, if he would hate her again after that. "I hardly think we need three people to go after him," she said instead. "I'm sure you'd do well for someone just returned to life. There are two other hunters keeping an eye on Sam right now. They could help you out."

"Oh so this is how it is now? You're just abandoning us like that?"

"Might it occur to you that I have something else to take care of?"

"Like what? Tea time with your demon pal?" Dean countered angrily but managed to stop himself before losing control of his emotion, "you know what─ I don't have time for this. Do what the hell you want, El! Come on, Bobby." He grabbed the last duffel bag near the doorway and walked out of the house without sparing another glance at her.

Elaine flinched when he slammed the door so loudly that it rattled the frame then she felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulder. Bobby gave her one last sympathetic look at her fake smile before following Dean outside. When she reached the front door, Elaine had a glimpse of Bobby's car driving away in hurry, leaving dust on its trail. It was not exactly a lie when she told Dean that she had something else to do. There was one other person besides her and Sam who believed Dean could be saved and she suspected he had something more to let on. Besides, even if she was wrong and demons actually had something to do with Dean's resurrection, there were two hunters who would back them up. They didn't really need her there.

Amazingly, Andy along with her car was still where she left him earlier, but little bit hidden from the road. She raised her eyebrow when Andy stepped out of the car. "What? You said do anything I want. This is what I want," he said, grinning. "Saw Bobby's car went out just now. Are we going after him?"

"No."

Andy quickly went back inside and watched her carefully as she took off her coat and put on the seat belt. "You sure?" he asked, quite stunned at her answer.

"I need to go back to the church."

He frowned. Elaine _never_ went to that church more than once a week and she _never _let any of them came with her. Something was wrong. Earlier she was adamant on going after Sam by herself and refused their advice to take a rest but now she decided to ditch and return back to that church? Then he noticed something amiss on her and caused his frown to deepen. "Elaine, what happened?"

Elaine glanced at him, as always ready to rebuke, only to find he was focused on something else than her face. She followed his gaze to see that her hands were shaking. "That's a first. I didn't even realize it," she weakly said. Her mind was too focused on holding back her tears and desire to kiss and forgive Dean right away. Then it shifted to wondering how eerie this coincidence was. Not once did her mind registered that she was having another panic attack, a real one this time, until Andy noticed it.

"You want me to─"

"No. Just take me to my church."

Andy pursed his lips, clearly disagreed to let it be, but Elaine seemed to be doing fine. She didn't have a seizure or sweat or even faint─ which was a good thing. It wasn't as worse as the last one. So he reluctantly followed her wish and drove the car towards her church. It was going to be a long journey again. Andy glanced to her again─ if she even showed the slightest sign that it got worse, he would change direction towards the nearest hospital. Consequences be damned. Then he reached out for her shaking hand and gave it a comforting squeeze, slightly dreading that she pushed it away. To his surprise, when he braved himself to steal another glance, a rare and content soft smile appeared to her face.

Even when her hand finally stopped shaking, he still didn't let go of hers and nor did she ask him to.

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't know if I can just let myself believe in God and start praying." Elaine said quietly as they sat on the front row, staring at the empty altar, "with everything I've seen… all those monsters and nightmares and… I don't think I can bring myself to…" she stopped, feeling a huge lump on her throat. "I'm sorry, I… This is not who I really am, Father. I am a hunter. I never was this weak, mindless woman who can't do anything when─" Her breath hitched as tears threatened to come out again.<em>

"_Well t__ake a small step first," he said soothingly, "you don't have to jump in and join the crowd immediately. Do it at your own pace, Elaine, no one is rushing you." He patted her clenched hand, "I'd say we're making a real progress here. You know, with you're talking about his death. It really takes a lot of strength to talk about your loss, especially when you loved him, and that shows how strong you really are. I never see you as a weak woman, Elaine." Then he reached out to wipe tears on her face. "I believe you can face it through."_

_Elaine smiled, slightly leaning towards the warmth of his hand on her cheek. That was what every one had been trying to convince her─ that it was normal to have this reaction, that it didn't mark her as a weak woman. She never expected that it was him, a lone Reverend from small town, who managed to strike hard at her heart. Perhaps she just wanted to hear it from someone who never delved into her world. Or perhaps she needed from someone who was tasked to give forgiveness. "Who are you, Father, really? How do you get your… belief so strong and never wavered? You know how messed up the world is yet you never stop believing. Seriously, who are you?" _

_The Reverend laughed, not for mocking, but mostly a surprised one. She had asked the same questions before and where it was used to be laced with suspicions, now─ if he didn't know any better─ it was spoken with sincerity, amusement, and a slight of admiration. "Well my dear, I'm just a man who serves his entire life for his God but right now," he stood up, "I'm just someone who needs to get out of your way."_

_Elaine couldn't help but to smirk in response, _"_Oh now you actually want to leave me alone? Had I known this is how to make you stop talking, I would have done it earlier." __  
><em>

_A chuckled escaped his lips as he shook his head in amusement, "I'll be in the back if you need me."_

_She watched as the Reverend disappeared through the back door, as he said, before turning her gaze back to the altar. He was wrong, the silence were a bit too much. She could even hear herself thinking loudly, especially on how ridiculous she looked right now. Her hand kept switching their position─ first they were on her lap and then changed to her side or to someplace else. Elaine glanced again at the back door─ he wouldn't know if she just left right away. There was no security camera nor was it possible that he could hear her voice from that door. And he couldn't hold it against her if she bolted out of here without goodbyes. _

"_Um… I… I don't know how they usually start this," she finally said after a moment of hesitance, ignoring the itch on her legs to just run away. "I don't even believe in you. The world is so messed up and you don't even do anything. Demons are everywhere and you don't even stop them." Elaine paused; her eyes clenched shut in pain, "but… I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. If you really do exist, if there is actually a God, please… please save Dean. Don't let him suffer in Hell, please. He doesn't deserve it. All his life he spent it to help other people. He was only in Hell because he wanted to save his younger brother, the only family he has left." Tears escaped her eyes as she bowed, "I beg you, please. Take him to Heaven or anything, just… just not in Hell."_

* * *

><p>For the first time since her first visit, Elaine slipped inside the church quietly with her demon blade appeared on her grip. She glanced behind to Andy who stayed on guard in the entrance, armed with salt gun and every other weapon they could think of. As usual the church was all empty─ something that she should be suspicious of in the first place. One time she decided to crash in Sunday morning prayer out of whim, just to see if the Reverend was as insufferable as he did with her alone, only to find that it was, again, empty. His excuse that time was that she came <em>way<em> after the prayer was finished. Elaine couldn't believe how gullible she was towards him. Then again he passed every test she gave him, _even_ the holy water. He was clearly not a demon and she had no proof to be wary of him.

She should have known something was off with him. The way he spoke so highly of God and His angels, yet he was aware of how crippled this world had become─ first with monsters kept popping out and now demons army was released into Earth, clearly was not normal. First she thought he was just an ignorant Reverend or a demented one perhaps and sometimes it was nice to talk to someone who had no part with supernatural world. But now that Dean somehow returned to life as he insisted he would be, there was something more behind his placid face. He couldn't be just a human. No. No human could have that foreknowledge without paying something.

And she would make sure nothing he did get to Dean. Not this time.

"Father?" she called out cautiously, "are you there?" Her grip on the blade tightened as she walked around the benches towards the confession room.

There was no answer.

Elaine walked slowly while making sure she didn't create unnecessary noises, but this time towards his part of cubicle. Her free hand rose up, ready to shed the dark red curtain away when a familiar voice stopped her. "Elaine, what a surprise." She turned around to find the Reverend walking towards her through the back door where his office was located, blissfully ignorant on how tense she was. "Two consecutive visits?" He glanced towards the entrance to find a stranger staring back at him menacingly, "with a friend even!" He said, quite astonished, "I didn't know you are so concerned with my well-being." But then he noticed the drawn blade on her hand and stopped. "Something wrong, Elaine?"

"Who are you?" she demanded completed with glowering glare.

The Reverend frowned, "I don't understand…" his voice trailed off as he took a step back to avoid the tip of her blade dangerously pointed towards to his jugular vein. He was half convinced that this woman in front of him was not Elaine. The Elaine he knew wouldn't barge in with a drawn weapon towards him. The Reverend glanced suspiciously at the man standing on the entrance─ would that man has anything to do with her changed behavior?

"Yesterday you told me that an angel could save a human soul from Hell, literal or not," she said, still refusing to let him out of her blade range, and motioned towards the new mosaic window that caught her interest yesterday. "And earlier I just found out somehow Dean is alive again. Completely healthy aside from a hand _mark_ on his shoulder."

"Ah." For someone who had a blade pointed at him, the Reverend seemed very calm─ too eerily calm for her taste. "Isn't that wonderful news? I thought you would jump in joy by now."

This time she grabbed the front of his robe and shoved him against the wall roughly. The demon blade pressed against his throat, drawing tiny blood from the pressure, and served to get her point across. "There is something you're not telling me, _Father,_ and I will appreciate it if you answer it straightforward." Her voice was low and dangerous, heavily laced with a promise of pure terror if he chose to ignore her threat.

To her annoyance, his expression remained unfazed, not even showing a flinch when his back hit the wall rather forcefully. "Was it so hard to believe that miracle does happen?" He asked calmly, still training his calculating gaze towards her. The way he spoke was as if this was the way they normally conversed. "You asked for a proof, Elaine, and it is given to you by his return. What more do you need? What more do you ask?" He paused, noticing how the pressure on his throat was gradually lessened. "Dean Winchester is alive now, safe and sound from Hell. Isn't that what you desperately want these past months, Elaine? Isn't that enough?"

The Reverend, in a way, was actually right. She had spent these four months desperately finding a way to save Dean, even offering her soul in exchange for his. Now Dean was breathing again, completely unscathed, just like she desired. She should be content. But then her mind wandered to that new mark and demons that were crowding Pontiac on the same day Dean returned back to life and she knew that she couldn't just let this matter slide away. The hunter side of her─ the one who witnessed firsthand the secret behind what normal people called 'miracle' ─ _refused_ to just accept it and move on.

"No." Elaine pushed the blade back to his throat. "I'm not going to just let it be. Tell me everything. Now. Did you make a deal with a demon? Are you working with Lilith?"

She was taken back when a smirk appeared on the Reverend's face as he snorted. That was not how she thought he would react. "Me? Work with a demon?" he scoffed, "The _first_ demon of all things? Quit joking Elaine, it's unbecoming you."

Not far away from them, Andy was tensed from the moment that Reverend came out of the back door. He had heard of the Reverend and how he 'offered' her a comforting talk and how it eased her mind every time she came to visit. She adamantly refused to let them come with her, even went off radar on the first few weeks, until Liz cornered her to tell them where she had been disappeared to. The other hunters had commented how Elaine Corbett had gone insane after what happened with Dean, especially with her talks about Lilith the first demon cooking up a huge plan yet no one ever saw her. Andy of course buffed their argument heatedly and even went on gun point with some of them. Elaine was not crazy or anything. She was depressed after his death, yes, but she hardly showed it to just anyone. If any, in front of the others, she seemed to revert back to her younger version─ cold, heartless, and cunning hunter.

Though now he inclined to believe the other hunters. Either that or the panic attacks had done more damage than they thought. That Reverend was barely older than him and he hardly seem to understand what a real hardship felt like. How on earth could he comfort her in ways that neither he or Liz or even Bobby Singer could achieve? He watched in shock as Elaine slammed the Reverend into the wall and pressed her blade against his throat. Earlier when Elaine told him to stay on guard in the entrance and drew a devil's trap earlier, he thought she just did that to keep him away from eavesdropping. When he picked her up yesterday, he saw her arsenal was complete on her trunk and she carried only her demon blade inside. Whatever happened in Bobby's house must shook her deeply and somehow this Reverend had a connection to it.

But when the Reverend spoke again and Elaine lowered her blade instantly, Andy decided he didn't want to wait by the entrance anymore. There was only one topic that could make Elaine hesitated like that and if that Reverend, whoever he really was, was trying to get out of whatever trouble he was in by manipulating her with it, he would damn make sure Elaine wouldn't fall for it. How could she start moving on if almost every day someone would come up and remind her of it?

"…I really don't get you. Dean is back. That's what _you _want, what you _prayed_ for. What more do you want? Why would you even explanation? You should full of joy right now, reunite with him, have the sex of your life, like bunnies if it needed."

The shotgun almost fell down from his hand when he heard it. Dean? Dean Winchester? He was alive? That was not possible. That guy was dead for _four_ freaking months. Andy glanced towards his friend─ did she have anything to do with it? How? He was there when she confronted the crossroads demon and knew that he didn't let her trade place with Winchester. But the way she reacted after she bolted out of Bobby's house, he highly doubted Elaine had any idea about it. Andy glanced at the Reverend again. He didn't understand why Elaine chose to interrogate him rather than hunting down her demon contact. Did she really think this deranged priest could have a hand on Dean's situation? This man was sprouting out nonsense about God, faith, and prayers!

Seriously, how could Elaine able to stay around this man for more than a minute?

"Who the hell are you?" she hissed, "and don't say you just servant of the Lord because none of them spoke like you do."

The Reverend rolled his eyes, "wow, you're really hard to please, aren't you? An angel rescued Dean from Hell and you hope it was a demon because you _want _to find something wrong," He glanced at the man standing not far from them, down to the shotgun on his hand, before turning his gaze back at her, "well, I know when I'm not welcomed anymore."

"Damn straight you're not."

Everything happened so fast that it hadn't even registered in his mind when it was all over. He saw Elaine raised her blade and ready to stab the man but before the tip even touched his chest, the Reverend touched her forehead lightly and she was out of cold at once. Andy barely started to lift his shotgun when that man was gone, completely vanished into thin air, leaving no proof of his previous existence in the building. It took him quite a while before he realized that Elaine was not waking up. He immediately ran towards her and bent down on her chest. A sigh of relief escaped him knowing that she was still breathing. "Come on, Elaine, wake up! Elaine!" his voice grew louder with worry as he slapped her cheek lightly. He never saw someone could knock out anyone just with one light touch and had no idea what kind of effect appeared in the victim.

Andy nearly toppled down in relief when Elaine finally came around, groaning as her eyes slowly opened. "Andy? What─" her eyes widened when she realized someone is missing. "Where is he?" she demanded, sitting up immediately.

"He just disappeared after knocking you out. Who the hell is he, El?!"

"What do you mean he disappeared?! Did you just let him go?"

He rolled his eyes, "do you think I'm a dumbass? He completely vanished into thin air. How am I suppose to catch him? I don't even have a chance to react when he's gone." When she was trying to stand up, he immediately grabbed her hand to steady her. "Be careful. I have no idea if you'll get an after effect or not."

"I'm fine," Elaine snapped, freeing her arm away from his grasp. She glared at their surrounding as if the empty benches were at fault for letting the Reverend, if he really was one, left just like that. "Call your brother in FBI. Get his face plastered around in every corner of this city. I want him found, Andy. Dead or Alive."

"Before that, why does he keep saying Dean Winchester is alive?"

Clearly she didn't expect that question coming out from him. Were they talking so loudly that he could hear it from the entrance? Glancing at her partner's look promised her that he wouldn't let this matter go easily. It wasn't supposed to be a secret after all. Steve and Rod would probably run into Dean and Bobby anytime soon and after that, there was no stopping the news. "Yeah. He… he's alive. I saw him earlier in Bobby's."

To her surprise, Andy didn't really react as badly as she thought. He just stared at her thoughtfully, "and you think this… priest or whatever he is, he knows something about it?"

Elaine shrugged her shoulder, "he is the only who believes Dean can still be saved. I─" she sighed, "I don't─ I never thought he might not be a human, you know. I just… I just want to believe in something. _Anything_. So I can have something to look forward to. For him. What if─ what if they brought him to life because of me? Andy, what if I condemn Dean into something worse?" she asked, looking so miserably that Andy couldn't have a heart to agree with the last one. Even if he was also thinking the same thing. Nothing he had seen smelt good for him.

"Come on," he said quietly, "let's get back home."

She took a deep breath before nodding and followed him towards the entrance. "Wait," Elaine said suddenly, her eyes narrowed to something in front of them, "give me the shotgun."

Andy gave it to her, confused as to why she needed it. He watched as she trained the gun towards one of the mosaic windows in front of them. His eyes widened and his mouth gaped when she shot three times and completely destroyed that mosaic. "What the─" Regardless how angry she was to the Reverend, he really didn't understand why she only destroyed that and not the others.

"I hate that thing," she muttered, stalking out of the church, and spared no glance behind. She was done with this building. That man hardly would return to this church again. If what Andy said was true, he could be in anywhere on this planet by now.

* * *

><p>Dean Winchester was really pissed off right now. He should be out celebrating his own resurrection, now that he was finally free from Hell, and not blindly hunting for the person who was responsible for rescuing his soul. First he thought that Sam was the suspect with him being so near to his grave at the day he was back to life, but his little outburst made Dean admitted he was wrong to think so low of his brother. Sam should know better than making another stupid deal with demon, thus creating the endless cycle over and over again. Since they had no leads how to find this person─ thing─ whatever it is, he had no choice but to follow Bobby's plan to visit a psychic friend of his. Pamela was her name and his mysterious rescuer─ that bastard burnt her eyeballs without even being in the same room. If that wasn't a huge sign there was something wrong or vile going on behind his resurrection, he had no idea how else to think of. There was no way someone with that kind of power saved him out of the goodness of its heart.<p>

Even the demons Sam followed to Pontiac had no idea who could break through Hell's defense and grabbed him just like that. At least he knew that the demons were just as spooked as him. Whoever that person was─ Castiel, was it─ he was either a big bad ass demon or something else that was way more powerful than these demons. Not to mention the high pitched sound that seemed to follow him around. First was on the fill up joint few hours after he dug himself out of his own grave. Then it happened again right before Pamela's eyes burnt out. And when he heard it again in the motel room that night, Dean knew these were more than just a coincidence. And he was ready to bet all his money that it was Castiel's doing.

Which left him no choice other than a showdown with this creature.

Yes, he knew it was a dumb move. He didn't know what this Castiel was or the extent of his power, but he was not going to let that high pitched ringing followed him around and destroyed every room he was in, including his ear drums. How could he even hunt if that thing kept happening to him? Whoever that Castiel was, he clearly wanted him. It was better to arm himself and summon this thing rather than being caught off guard later. So he and Bobby stocked up every weapon he had, including the demon knife that served them well last year, and had Bobby to draw up every single traps and talisman he knew from every faith on the earth. Basically they should have everything they needed to defense themselves from anything they heard of.

But clearly they didn't include angels into their calculation. Nor did they take into account that angel was impervious against those weapons and traps they prepared. They shot him multiple times and he didn't even blink. Dean stabbed him with the demon knife and he didn't even flinch─ merely looked down to the knife and took it out with a little smug smirk. And that bastard easily knocked Bobby out with just a light touch on his temple. Then this angel Castiel─ if he really was one─ had the audacity to declare that it was God who wanted him to be saved from Hell and that they had work for him. God─ as in the mighty one who was supposed to create everything and wanted you to believe him because he said so. Yeah, that one. The very same one who let the chaos unleashed in His world and didn't do anything about that. And that angel Castiel or whatever expected him to just agree and move on? Dean scoffed, as if he would believe that crap. No.

He didn't believe then before all shits going down on him and he wasn't going to believe now just because someone claimed to be an angel and saved him from Hell _literally_. But right now, at least until Bobby finished researching for this angel crap thing, he had one last thing to figure out. This time he was not going to let it get away that easy.

Bobby was right. His problem with Elaine shouldn't eat him alive─ no, they shouldn't even have any problem to begin with. If one of them had to concede so they could talk, _really _talk, then so be it. This one he could fix. Besides, it's El─ so she was a little freaked out finding out that he was alive. Big deal. He would freak out as well if he was in her position. Hell, he would shoot himself first out of instinct. There was nothing she could do that surprised him at this point anyway.

* * *

><p>He was wrong.<p>

The two story house Dean was currently standing in front of was not where he imagined her to live. It was too peaceful, quiet, and homey. That was not the Elaine Corbett he knew. Elaine, in his memory, always preferred the comfort of metropolitan city's noise. She always loved staying in the highest floor she could get since it gave her a sense of ruling the world beneath her. She was certainly _not_ the suburban type. Then again the Elaine he remembered would not knock him out after finding out that he was alive and coldly leave them behind to go after his brother who might or might not deal with a demon to bring him back. She also wouldn't just leave his brother alone, not after all the things she said about Sam might unable to cope living alone or demons might playing a soul trade card with Sam.

No, this Elaine back away from his brother and leave him by himself just because he lashed out at her in anger. Dean had done the same thing to her so many times and yet she kept coming back. She should be immune to what Sam did to her. But instead she left his brother's safety to two grunts, who were too late realizing that Sam had another visitors coming in. What if it was demons instead? Sam could be in great trouble and those two idiots couldn't help him in time.

He glanced down at the paper Bobby wrote her new address in along with the spare key she gave for safe keeping. Grudgingly he slid the key into the lock and frowned when it fit and opened the door for him. He had hoped Bobby was pulling a joke on him but apparently he was wrong. The house inside was quiet, completely dark and barren from any sound, just like a normal suburb house in midnight. Even with his eyes squinted, he still couldn't find a sign that Elaine or even a hunter was living here. Dean carefully started to close the door but froze when beeping noises were loudly heard throughout the house. "Damn it," he quietly cursed, seeing a home alarm control panel next to the door, then back to the paper. There was nothing else other than her address on it. Clearly Bobby forgot to include the code to disable the alarm.

How stunned he was when the annoying noise suddenly died down. He was about to heave out a relieved sigh when the light was suddenly on.

"Move and you're dead."

Dean slowly turned around, raising his hand in surrender, and found himself held at gun points by two people. He didn't recognize both of them but he knew hunter when he saw one. Judging by their shocked expression, they knew him and hadn't gotten a memo about his resurrection. Great. "Whoa guys, relax. I'm just here to see Elaine, okay? Bobby Singer told me where to find her. He gave me his key." He said carefully, slightly jingling the key on his left hand.

"Maybe you took it away from him when you killed him, demon." The female hunter hissed, causing Dean to properly look at her. She looked familiar to him but he couldn't place from where. And she looked too pissed off to be a stranger. Did he sleep with her or something?

"I'm not a demon okay?" Dean rolled his eyes. How many times already did he have to say that in defense? It was not his fault that someone decided to single him out and drag him out of Hell alone. "What? You didn't get a memo or something?" Then he raised his voice, calling her out, "El? You there? Elaine!"

Which apparently pissed off the female hunter more. "Don't you dare call her name like that, you black eyed bastard!"

Dean was about to retort back at her when he heard her voice calling out his name. "Finally! Have you─" he stopped when he noticed her coming into the foyer, only clad in a short, pink chemise, showing off her long legs, with her hair slightly tousled. Seeing her like this suddenly reminded him of the time he usually sneaked into her apartment in Seattle to surprise her only to run into her things in the dark and caused a lot of noise, waking her up immediately. A goofy grin appeared on his face as he let his eyes wandered from her legs up to her face, appreciating the sight he hardly seen for almost three years, until another figure coming out from the corner. This time, it was a man, dressed in navy pajama bottom, and the way he easefully positioned himself close to Elaine didn't escape Dean's notice. And he didn't like it. He didn't know who that man was and he definitely didn't like the smug look he received.

"You shouldn't come out here without proper weapon," the still strikingly familiar female hunter chided.

"It's okay, Liz. He's real and clean. Lower your gun." She glanced to the other hunter, "both of you." The other hunter seemed to believe her and lowered his gun, even though reluctantly. Elaine then turned her gaze to her female friend who still had her gun locked and loaded at Dean. "Liz…" she said warningly.

Ah, now he remembered where he had seen her before. He couldn't believe it. She was the girl who was following Elaine for the whole two months, declaring she was going to be like her. When he first heard it, he was completely baffled. That was the first time he ever heard someone willingly to be a hunter. He thought this girl had her circuit short or something but Elaine waved it off and told him she would take care of it. Clearly his definition of 'taking care of it' was different than from what she meant since that girl still became a hunter.

But Liz still refused to budge. "A human can't escape Hell just like that, El," she snapped back, "and he's dead for four months already. Don't you think he should look like a zombie?" Her protest fell into deaf ear when Elaine walked past her, grabbed his hand, and pulled him away from the door without words. Dean was about to complain when he saw Liz lowering down her weapon, although her face showed how reluctant she was. "So he could go pass the Devil's Trap," Dean was not surprised to know there was a Devil's Trap under the rug he was standing on earlier. "Big deal. He could be some higher end demon."

"Lilith couldn't even break out of the Devil's Trap I have for her. What makes you think the others could do that?" Elaine countered, causing others to fidget on their feet nervously, remembering how she came to know this information. Liz winched at her friend's comment and reluctantly moved away from their intruder. Seeing the lack of hesitance from Elaine when staring at Dean, she sighed and jerked her head towards the room she jumped out earlier, signaling the others to leave Elaine and their guest alone. Dean threw a smug look towards every hunter, especially to the shirtless one who had to wait for another nod from Elaine before he agreed to leave.

He followed her inside the house, finding more and more proofs that Elaine had completely changed, as she led him to another corner and into the pantry. Even the layout and the furniture were different than what Elaine would have preferred. She never liked mahogany and dark colored furniture. It made everything looked gloomy and old, she once said, but now there he was in a house belonged to her with mahogany furniture and wood flooring instead of rug covered floor and white marble tiles. Dean watched as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer before throwing it at him. "So. I'm dead for four months and now you got minions following you around, eh? Liz is that crazy girl in Seattle, isn't she?"

He was met with another cold stare. "Why are you here, Dean?"

"It's an angel," he said, not missing how stiffened she was when he said the word 'angel'. "The one who saved me from Hell? It's a frigging angel called Castiel. You know about it?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, "we both know angel doesn't exist."

"Well this one just declares himself as one." Dean watched Elaine closely─ that brief reaction he saw from her was already gone, but it was there. No matter how much Elaine had changed, he knew nothing spooked her if it weren't something big and she knew about it already.

Her eyes flickered around him dubiously. "Where is he then? If this so called angel really saved you from Hell, shouldn't he follow you around like a guardian angel?"

Dean shrugged his shoulder. "No idea. The bastard's gone." Then he saw she raised her eyebrow at him, "what?"

"So you're wasting few hours on the road to come here and tell me news about someone who's not even with you when you can just call me instead and be done in few minutes." She sighed, massaging her temple, "why are you really here, Dean?"

There! He wasn't wrong when he thought how much Elaine had changed. She was never this distant and cold to him, nor did she ever brush away his problem like it was just a mundane task. Not even once did she prefer for him not to visit her even when they were fighting. Ha! And Bobby said to just give her a _space_, until she could adjust to him being actually alive, before pounding her in. What good would it be if she had already changed drastically? Leaving her alone would only make it worse. "I'm out of the pit and you don't even give one kiss?"

She only intensified her glare at him.

"C'mon," he grinned, drawing her in, and rested his hand loosely on her waist. Lavender and jasmine scent she always carried around was a pleasant welcome after all those muds, dirt, and rotting wood smell from his coffin that still wouldn't come off even after thorough scrubbing. Every time he held her, he always felt like she was a fragile thing─ that his rough, big hand would easily crush her, even though he knew she was far from that. And that feeling still hadn't changed at all. With her body pressed to his by his grip on her waist, Dean knew he only needed to tilt her chin up and he could kiss her. And at that point, he realized just how much he missed _this _and how stupid he was for being stubborn last year_. _He couldn't even remember the last time he had her in his arms like this. "What you say? For old time sake," he murmured, leaning in for a kiss.

Only to have a loud and hard slap delivered right to his cheek.

"Ow, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Dean jumped away from her, his hand rubbing at his red cheek, glaring at her.

"For old time sake?" she repeated, her voice was higher on every word she said, "_You_ chained me in my own bathroom, Dean! Or did your deluded brain decide to forget that?" Dean winched, remembering that particular memory she mentioned. So much for hoping they could leave everything behind and start over. "I tried to help you, your sorry excuse of an ass, to save you from Hell," she continued her screaming, leaving him no opening to cut in, "and you _freakin' _chained me! What the hell was that, Dean?!"

"Oh c'mon, I thought you tried to kill me!" he protested, refusing to let them sit on this matter too long. All he wanted was for them to move on and forget that part─ _he_ wanted to bury that dark past of his. He wanted to start fresh, no nightmare in Hell and no guilt for leaving everyone struggled with their grief for him. Besides, anyone would draw the same conclusion if someone coming to them with a knife raised and a Reaper following them around, he would bet.

"Kill you?! Why would I want to kill you when you're going to die in the next day!? You are so unbelievable!" she snapped, "I spend last year─ a whole freaking year─ finding a way to cheat on your deal even with you kept shoving me away. I had to _beg_ you to save yourself and you fucking chained me in my bathroom! You didn't trust me and now you want a kiss for that? Fuck off!"

"Well, you're not exactly innocent in here!" Before he could control it, his short temper rose, reacting towards hers. "If you weren't that chummy with demons─"

"─I did what I have to do to survive. Will you stop thinking of this world in black and white?" she cut him.

"Oh so leaving Sam alone like that, letting him hunt down Lilith by himself is you not thinking this world in black and white? You know what I think, El?" Dean bent down, his voice went down dangerously, "I think this is what you want from the first time, from before that gate opened. I think you're in on it with Lilith." By the time the last word escaped his mouth, Dean already regretted it. He had gone too far and her hurt expression supported that thought. Elaine might feel comfortable working with demons, but she knew her boundary. She would never agree to worldwide destruction. But before he could summon his mind to form string of apologies, Elaine slapped him again, her glare remained intact.

"How dare you," her voice slightly quivered, "God, I wish you still rot in Hell right now!"

"Well that's too bad for you," Dean shouted back, "because apparently God wanted me out of there! Maybe you should just go to Hell instead, El. Last time I checked, they're really waiting for you down there!"

* * *

><p>It was hard not to listen to the conversation in the pantry, especially with their voice rising higher every time they spoke. Even when he was 'hiding' in their meeting room on the other side of the house, polishing his gun while reading one of the books they got about angels─ though he had no idea why Elaine was suddenly interested in angel, Andy could still hear their heated argument. Liz, who followed him inside and demanded to know how did Dean was alive again, kept rolling her eyes and grumbling every few minutes about how stubborn those two idiots were. He had to agree with her. For someone who almost went mad from grieving for his death, Elaine surely showed the world how grateful and happy she was to find Dean Winchester alive. If any, the frown line on her face and dark circle under her eyes had never been more visible since yesterday.<p>

Then it went all quiet before few moments later they could hear their front door was slammed shut loudly. Andy raised his eyebrows at Liz who immediately went out from their hiding corner to the pantry to check if they might need another renovation there or if she was still there. He had half thought that Dean Winchester might just kidnap Elaine out of impulse.

But to his surprise, Elaine was still there, her head bowing down and one of her hand gripped the edge of their dark granite counter-top. There was broken beer bottle near her but the other furniture remained untouched. So only Dean left the house and by the look of it─ Andy exchanged worried look with Liz─ he probably left with their argument went unfinished. When they heard roaring machine from his car gradually decreased in time, they knew he was gone for the night. Did Elaine kick him out? Andy was about to take another step closer to her but hesitated in the end. Last time when he tried to comfort her on his own accord after the demon refused to exchange her soul with Dean's, she almost shot him. He glanced helplessly at Liz who rolled her eyes back at him and approached their friend, carefully avoiding the glass shards on the floor.

"Elaine?" she hesitantly asked, "what happened? Is everything alright?" But when there was no response from her, Liz glanced back at Andy who had a matching alarmed expression with her. She took another step forward and placed a hand on Elaine's shoulder, "El?"

When Elaine finally looked up, her eyes were red and brimmed with tears. "No. No, it's not."

Why was it so hard for them to just start fresh? Every time they exchanged words, it always went back to that night in Seattle and it always ended with Dean getting angrier and her heart more broken. What was wrong with them?

* * *

><p><em>Sigh, this is what you get when you have two stubborn people as a couple. None of them would back down and admit their mistake. No meeting with Castiel yet, sorry guys! They will meet probably in chapter five (I hope?). Thanks for reading and please leave a review. I would very much appreciate it and it really motivates me to keep writing! :)<em>


	4. Ghost From The Past

**_Ghost From The Past_**

They finally found her that night.

No one else was at home and the intruders even managed to not trip the alarm. Had it not been for the broken bottle shards in the kitchen floor, she wouldn't have heard them. EMF was not reacting and nor booby traps they set up for hunter intruder. They seemed to know the layout of her house very well but she was certain it was not her team. None of them dared to pull something like this on her, not even Andy. She quickly left her room, knowing that would be the first they searched for her. Her legs kept on running, away from them, but the hallway seemed to never end. Hell, she never knew her house was this big. She didn't even dare to check who the intruders were. All she knew that they scared the hell out of her mind. Adrenaline and fear seemed to be the only thing that kept her from crashing down. She didn't dare to look behind but there were no other footsteps than her and the only voice other than her footsteps was her own labored breathing. Her heart was hammering hard against her chest, as if it tried to break away from its cage, and veins in her temple started to pulsate angrily, slowly causing a massive headache.

But she couldn't stop. Even if she wanted, her legs seemed to have its own brain. She _had _to run away and she did, as fast as she could… until she realized someone was standing in her way and immediately stopped. Her eyes widened when she finally recognized who it was. "Dean…" she breathed out, taking a small step away from him. He looked pissed and angry as hell, just like the way he usually acted around her before his death. To her surprise, that dull, aching feeling no longer appeared as they used to anymore and instead she felt her shoulder slumped down and her limbs went lifeless on their own accord.

When Dean was few steps away from her did she finally regain control of her body and turned around. A surprised gasp escaped her lips when she saw Sam standing behind her, looking equally angry. "Sam, I─"

"Tell him what you did, Elaine," Sam cut her, his voice was toneless, "tell him why you left me in the mercy of demons."

She shook her head vigorously, tears started to brim on her eyes, "I didn't know that─ Sam, I didn't mean to leave you. I─" she turned to Dean, pleading, "please trust me. I have to follow their condition." Her eyes widened when both Dean and Sam started to advance on her. She stepped backwards to avoid them, "Dean… Sam… please…" she pleaded again when her back bumped into the wall. "You have to understand, I don't have other choice."

"Oh boo hoo, Elaine lost her boyfriend. Let's make it about her, shall we? Hm, what should we do to cheer her up?" Sam said mockingly before his eyes narrowed, "oh, I know," he smirked, lifting his hand. Next to her, Dean suddenly let out a painful gasp. Elaine turned quickly to find Dean was suspended in the air and his hand clawed and scratched at his own neck, trying to free himself from something invisible that was holding him. Her eyes widened when she heard him choked and gasped for air.

"Sam, stop it!" she cried out as she frantically grasped Dean's leg and tried to pull him down. "It's Dean. What are you doing?!" But even as she used her full strength, she couldn't help him down.

"Why not?" Sam countered. His smirk widened as he clenched his hand tighter, crushing his windpipe. "If you get to screw me up, why can't I screw him up? You should be glad, El. If he's dead, then you won't have to feel guilty." He glanced down to her, his eyes flashed white, "or would you like to tell him _everything_?"

Elaine froze noticing the brief change on his eye color. "Impossible…" How did she not notice it before? How did none of the other hunters even notice it? Her eyes flicked towards his upper left chest, trying to get a glimpse of his anti-possession tattoo under his shirt. There were Devil's Trap painted in every hallway and room. He couldn't possibly get to where they were right now without destroying half the house. And as far as she could see, there was no damage around them. What the hell was happening?

"What? Do you think you can just trust demons and there won't be any consequences?" 'Sam' snorted, "don't be naïve, Elaine. It's really unbecoming for you." He glanced at Dean and sighed to find him still struggling, "he just can't die that easily, can he?" 'Sam' tilted his head before grinning back, "oh, I know."

"Dean!" Elaine screamed out as she watched Dean was flunked hard into the wall just by a swish of Sam's hand. Another wave and Dean was thrown into another side of the wall. "Stop it! Sam, I know you're in there! Stop it!"

"Hm," he stopped for a moment to the point that Elaine thought the real Sam could finally hear her, "how about no?" Then he waved his hand again to throw Dean to the wall again. This time he put more strength in it and grinned in satisfaction when he saw cracks on that wall. 'Sam' snorted again when he noticed tears on her face. "If you finished crying, could you check if he's dead already?" He smirked when he noticed she pulled out a familiar blade and pointed it towards him.

"Let him go," she demanded.

There really was no other outcome than this. If she wanted to keep Dean alive, like she always did, she had to do it quick. Dean might not survive another round of that. She had tried to make Sam fought the demon from inside, but so far there was no response. The blade felt really cold on her sweaty hand as she dreaded the near future. If she did this… if she _killed_ Sam, Dean would hate her forever. He would blame her for not trying hard, for being fooled twice.

Once again she was back to that night in Seattle three years ago. Same cause, same choices, and it always ended the same: she would lose Dean.

"Finally. I thought you lost that blade already. Come on," 'Sam' mocked, "I'm not going to defend myself. Come on, I'm waiting, El." He smirked seeing the barely hidden tremble on her hand. "No? Okay."

Elaine could watch in horror when Sam flicked his hand slightly and Dean was once again thrown to the wall again. But this time she could hear a loud cracking noise. "Dean!" she ran towards where he was slumped down when he didn't show any movement. Her hand was immediately stained with red fluid when she touched his head. "No… Dean?" Elaine slapped his cheek, trying to get him awake, "Dean? Dean!" She moved to shake him, "Dean, wake up! Dean!" There was no flutter of breath or even a flinch. He was not responding either to her frantic voice or touch. "Dean?" her voice was shaky now and she could feel the salty taste from her tears.

This was not happening. He just got back from Hell. They hadn't even resolved their fighting. There were so many things she wanted to tell him or do with him. He couldn't just… Her fingers trembled when she reached out to touch his vein, desperately seeking for a pulse.

"Dean, no… DEAN!"

Elaine gasped for breath, shooting up, as she opened her eyes and looked around frantically in her dark surrounding. When she noticed her hand on a white sheet, then she realized where she was. She was in her room, all alone. Nor Dean or Sam was anywhere near her. The damp sheets were twisted around from her trashing, her heart was still beating frantically. She raised her hand shakily to find there was no trace of blood. Her head was still pounding hard when she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. The reality started to sink in to her mind what had just happened to her earlier.

It was a dream.

Oh thank God, it was just a dream. She let out a relieved breath as she laid back again, her eyes closed, trying to shake away traces of the dream on her mind, with her hand covering her face. Everything on the dream felt so real… she could still remember vividly the constant fear she had in the dream or feel the warm blood she had on her hand when checking Dean after that last impact. And when she could not find a pulse on his veins… A sob escaped her lips when she remembered how she thought she would lose him again or how scared she was when she thought Sam was possessed by Lilith.

Just when she could finally control herself, her bedroom door suddenly opened. Elaine quickly grabbed the gun under her bed and aimed it towards the door. "Liz!" she lowered down the gun when her mind finally registered who it was. "_Don't_ scare me. I could kill you just now!"

"Hey I'm not the one who screams loudly in dead night!" Liz defended herself. She rested herself against the doorway, her eyes frowned as she noticed how disheveled her friend was. "I thought the nightmare should stop already," she said quietly, "you know, with him back and all."

Elaine glanced at the broken photo frame on her nightstand. The others kept offering to get a new frame and printed out a new copy but she always refused. Liz tried to throw it away once out of frustration but Elaine managed to save it before garbage truck carried it away. "I guess it won't that easy…" she whispered, lifting the frame gingerly. A sad smile appeared on her face as she gazed at the people in the picture. They were so happy and carefree in that photo, both Dean and her, content with how their relationship was.

How she wished they could back to that time again.

* * *

><p>The doorbell suddenly rang, startling almost everyone in the house who had been enjoying their quick breakfast. Dean glanced at his brother who shrugged his shoulder. Neither of them expected any visitor at this moment, but then again they didn't exactly live in this house permanently. Bobby was still nowhere to be found, the last time they checked, he was still in the bathroom upstairs. Dean nudged his brother to do something; either called Bobby or opened the door, as he refused to be part with his food. But Sam only kicked his leg back in response. After nudging and kicking while the doorbell is still ringing, Sam finally raised his clenched hand, challenging Dean to a paper rock scissor match. Few seconds later Sam grinned in victory as his brother slapped his burger back to the plate and shouted, "Bobby!" They waited but there was no response from the old man. "Bobby! Someone's at the door!"<p>

Then the ringing was getting louder and the interval in between rings was getting shorter when Dean finally broke down and stalked towards the door. "Alright, alright! Will you just be patient, you─" he froze when seeing that it was Elaine who stood on the other side and two crates were besides her. Memory of the last time they met and the argument they left unfinished stormed back to his mind and he remembered how pissed he was at her and how it changed into a guilt when he finally calmed down and able to think straight.

For a moment they were standing in awkward silence, pointedly avoiding each other's stare. Neither of them knew the right thing to say after how their last argument ended. Nor did they know if the other wanted to reconcile or not. It was Sam who broke the silence as he walked to the front door, curious on why his brother had said no more words after opening the door. "Hey, who's─" his face scrunched up in a scowl and his figure went stiff when he saw who was standing in the doorway. "Elaine," he greeted curtly. Of course she wouldn't stay away after Dean was back to life again.

Elaine turned and greeted the younger Winchester with a tight smile, "Sam." She could only hold her gaze on him for few seconds before turning away. The memory of her recent nightmare was still fresh on her mind─ how Sam killed Dean in cold blood. She knew he wouldn't even have a thought to kill Dean in real life, but it still etched on her mind how scared she was of him on that dream.

It was hard not to notice the tense atmosphere between those two, causing Dean to frown as well. He completely forgot to talk about this that night he visited Elaine─ to be honest, it went out of control the moment that alarm went off─ and also to Sam when they had spare time after he regrouped with him and Bobby after going off for a 'snack'. At first he thought Sam might be furious at Elaine because she couldn't stop the deal from happening, but now that Dean was standing and breathing again, everything should be good between those two again. Dean glanced toward his brother who seemed agitated being in the same room with Elaine. Sam was never the one who hold grudge between two of them. So what changed?

"Here," she said and pushed the crates at him and Sam before he could even think on what to say. He was glued on his spot, noticing that she had changed her car as well, when she walked back to the backseat to grab more bags. It was no longer the horrible bright pink BMW she insisted to keep just because it looked _cute_. That blasted car used to irritate him to the point that he was more than ready to run it over with his own but it was part of her. Now that it was also gone, along with other things he usually associated her with, Dean wasn't sure if there was still shreds of her old self left.

Bobby was drowning alcohol like water, Sam was going bat crazy after Lilith on his own, and Elaine was probably replaced by a look alike. He had gone only for four months and everything had changed. Now it felt like he was the only one still trapped in the past.

Then his arm started to grow tired from holding the crate, causing him to shake away his thought. He closed the door with his foot and dropped the heavy crate next to the one she put earlier. "What the hell is this?"

Elaine shrugged her shoulder and answered, "Bobby called me to bring anything I know about angels,"

"And you're supposed to know a lot about them, aren't you?" Sam said snidely, dropping the crate careless to the floor.

"Finally. What took you so long?" Bobby came down to find her inside his house already, unknowingly stopped the impending argument. He frowned seeing their each expression, "what?"

"Really? Her?" Sam asked accusingly, surprising Dean for his open hostile, "After what─"

Bobby rolled his eyes at his antics, "you both wanted to know about angels. Can't think anyone who has better collection."

"Everything that has the word angel in them," Elaine cut before Sam had a chance to argue again, her hand motioned towards the two crates. Then she walked towards the desk, opening her laptop on it. "Those are the ones we haven't had time to put it on database." It took few seconds before the welcome screen popped out again. Dean pursed his lips together─ another thing in her life that changed completely. She used to have their picture from the last Christmas they celebrated together, not this EC yellow logo with black background thing. Elaine pressed few keystrokes─ new password, he noticed again─ and opened her digital collection. "These are the rest. Just do a normal search and it will pop out and sorted by book title. I don't know which one you already have, Bobby, so I bring everything." She glanced around before stepping back, letting Bobby to feel around the laptop.

It was when Dean and Sam finally crowded themselves around the laptop that Elaine quietly stepped away towards the door. Liz was right─ she should've let Dean steam off after their argument and sent out the others for this. She inwardly flinched when the door creaked loudly as she opened it, alerting the others. "Really? You're just creeping out like that?" As always, Dean was the first one who reacted.

Elaine turned around slightly, her glance lingered in Bobby longer, "You have it all handled."

"Wow. Here I thought you couldn't be more heartless and you just prove me wrong."

"Dean, it's not─" she sighed, "I'm sure three of you can─"

"─cut the crap, El." Dean gritted his teeth, seeing how she kept glancing towards the door. "I don't need your half assed excuse again. What, your demon buddy told you to stay away from me now? Hm? Is that how it is now?" He then turned around to Bobby who was taken aback by his rather harsh words and Elaine who didn't sound a protest. "Bobby? Any word to add?"

These two idjits. Bobby rolled his eyes, feeling headache threatening to show up again. "Well, you kinda dump lots of things here…" he trailed off, looking at the woman pointedly. A frown slightly appeared on his face when she bit her lips while her eyes still flickering between Dean and him. He never saw her being this hesitant before, not when it concerned Dean's well-being. Maybe Dean was right. Maybe Elaine really changed and he was buried too deep on his own problem that he didn't notice it.

It wasn't until Elaine closed the door again and took off her coats that the heavy feeling in the room immediately disappeared. She pulled out her phone and texted to her team not to expect her in the house any time soon before settled herself in the sofa and grabbed a book randomly. "What?" she added when Dean was still staring at her, "I thought you want me to help out."

Dean clenched his jaw to clamp down any bite remark waiting on his tongue before grabbing the big crate and pulled the crates towards him. Beside him, Sam also did the same with her laptop while Bobby skimmed through another crate, taking out the books that he didn't own. For few moments, there was no sound other than rustling of papers or clicking of the keyboard. Elaine tried to focus on the book but her eyes kept straying towards Dean. It felt surreal to see him actually there, breathing and moving in front of her. Few days ago the only time she could see Dean was from her memories or nightmares and she couldn't even treasure those moments without feeling guilty or angry.

Maybe she should have apologized for their last fight. She just had him back and they were already fighting again. This was not what she wanted, what she pictured their reunion to be. Elaine quickly ducked behind her book, hiding the smile that immediately plastered on her face when she noticed Dean rummaged through her plastic bag and took out the pie she prepared earlier. At the very least, she was glad to know there was one thing that never changed in him. Maybe they could properly talk after this and things would return to the way it should be.

"Why are these stuffs only about angels?" Dean asked, throwing the last book he skimmed through carelessly back to the crate.

Elaine looked up from the book to see Sam and Bobby had a matching exasperation look on their face. She then glanced to Dean with a frown, "I thought you want to know more about the angel who rescued you."

"Well what if it's not angel, huh? Care to add that to the scenario?" he countered back, not wanting to back down.

She could only stare at him, completely bewildered. Few nights ago he stormed into her house in the middle of the night just to tell her that he managed to summon his rescuer and it was an angel. Then Bobby called her last night to bring all she could find about angels─ on which Liz grumbled all the time since they had to chase the last flight back instead of sleeping in after hunting rugaru. Now he didn't believe it's an angel? Did she miss something in between?

"Dean, we've been on this argument over and over again." Sam cut in, still looking peeved, "unless you can tell us what else it could have been, my money's still on angels."

"I was _not_ groped by some angels, okay!" Dean snapped back, startling all of them, including Bobby who chose to ignore their argument earlier. He clenched his jaw and when he spoke again, his voice was calmer, "look, it could be something else. Maybe… maybe he's some kind of a demon. Who knows? Demon lies always."

Elaine casted a questioning look towards Bobby who only shrugged in response, before turning back to Dean. "So you're saying a demon who could go past through Devil's Trap, salt rounds, _and_ the knife, which Lilith really scared of, got you out of Hell, after all the troubles she had sending you there." she said carefully, her eyes watched his reaction closely. "Do you know how ridiculous and far-fetched that sounds?"

But Dean was still stubborn on his opinion. "It's a working theory," he said curtly.

Sam sighed, "Dean, we already _have_ a theory."

"One with the less fairy dust on it, please." Dean crossed his arms then stared at each of them expectantly. "Well?" he demanded.

"Well what?" Elaine asked back, "what's wrong with the angel theory, really?"

Her question left Dean really stunned and speechless. He already expected Sam to immediately latch on the angel theory since the beginning since Sam still believed in what the bible said─ that even though bad stuff happened around them, there was still God and His angels. Bobby being neutral on the revelation didn't surprise him at all─ he was the type who rather waited until the proof dangling in front of him before making his opinion. But her questioning his reason not to believe in angel? Elaine didn't believe in that crap. She even laughed at the priests when they were defending their faith on her. He _saw _it so many times. They shared the same view─ if there was God, then why didn't He do anything about stuff that happened right now?

Glancing around in the room, Dean found out that he wasn't the only who was taken back. Even Sam dropped down his glare at her and gaped at her openly. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he finally managed to speak out.

Elaine frowned back at him, "what are you talking about?"

"Since when you believe in angel crap?"

"I'm just following what you said before," she said, defending herself, "because right now, that's more believable than your demon theory."

"Well then why no hunters have seen one, at some point, _ever_?"

Sam shook out of his stupor and turned to his brother, giving him a pointed look, "you just _did_, Dean."

"Are you kidding me?" Dean stared at his brother in disbelief, "you decide to believe this thing is a freaking Angel of the Lord just because it says so?"

Fed up from hearing their arguments, Bobby finally spoke out, "You chuckleheads want to keep arguing about religions or do you want to take a look at this?" He waited until three of them settled themselves around his table before grabbing the book he wanted to show them. "Every lore I read─ Biblical, pre Biblical, some even in the damn cunneiform─ said an angel can snatch a soul from the pit."

Elaine froze when she looked at the page Bobby showed them properly. It was the same. The drawing on the page was identical to the window mural she saw in that church, down to the position of each figure and coloring. When Dean told her about the identity of his rescuer, she thought someone overheard her conversation with the Reverend and used that in hope she could convince Dean to just buy that story and ask no more question. Clearly they didn't know Dean, whoever rescued him. But now that she knew the mural didn't come out from the Reverend's weird imagination… she wished she immediately investigated about angels the first time she heard from him. Her eyes widened when she noticed that the supposed angel grabbed the supposed man on the left shoulder. Didn't Dean's hand print mark also in the same place?

"What's with you?" Bobby was the first one to notice how pale Elaine's face was. "You look like you just seen a ghost."

His comment prompted the Winchesters to turn around at her. "I saw that picture before, exactly the same," Elaine reluctantly answered, knowing Dean would see through her lies and get really upset after that. "It's the new stained glass the Reverend put up when I visited few days ago. I thought he just used it to annoy me but…" She looked up from the picture only to find them stared at her weirdly, and frowned. That was the second time she received the same look. From Bobby she wouldn't think of it much─ it was more of his default look on her. But to have it from Dean _and_ Sam at the same time? Now that just made her more uncomfortable. "What?"

"You visited a priest? As in the creepy guy living in a church?" Dean asked back and then turned to Bobby, "she _went_ to a church?"

Bobby raised his hands up in surrender, "hey, don't ask me." He quickly said, defending himself from Dean's accusation for not telling everything. Few nights ago after their encounter with the so called angel, Dean stormed back to his house, looking livid. When he was asked what happened, Dean snapped at him for suggesting to visit Elaine or how Elaine was completely changed to worse. Bobby glanced at the woman, his eyes shining with curiosity. "I honestly thought visiting the Reverend is your code for having… you know."

"You _went_ to a church? _You_ went to a _church_?"

Elaine rolled her eyes when he repeated the question again and again like a broken record and snapped, "yes, Dean. I go to a church now. Can we move on to the real problem here?"

"Since when?" Dean asked, still spluttered out about her newfound activities. There were many ways Elaine and church could be put in one sentence but he would never thought of this one. With the way things unraveled right now, he wouldn't be surprise anymore if she decided to drop another bomb like this again. Hell, he would not surprise if she had anything to do with this angel. "Since when you go to church, El?" he demanded once again.

She bit her lips, at first reluctant to answer. But when Dean barked out his question again, she quickly answered, "three and half months ago, okay?"

"So you already know about angels stuff before I was bailed out?"

"No! That's not─" Elaine sighed, seeing that Dean was seconds away from blowing up, again, "when the Reverend found out about your situation, he kept mentioning about angel being able to get your soul out of Hell. All I need to do is to believe and keep praying to them. I thought he was just a crazy man but… since you're really here and your rescuer is supposed to be an angel…"

Dean opened his mouth, ready to interrogate her more, but no sound came out. He was too stunned to be able to form a coherent speech. This was bizarre… even to her standard, this was too bizarre and erratic of a change. He didn't believe what she just said. No. There was something she wasn't telling him. "Alright," Dean finally found his voice, "let's visit this Reverend you're talking about then." Then he noticed her flinched at his decision, "what?"

"He's gone."

"How!?"

"I went back after you and Bobby went to Pontiac. He knocked me out and when I'm awake, he's already gone." A wry smile appeared on her face when she saw Dean grimaced, "yes. Funny how someone we trust always be the one who can knock us out in surprise."

Sam huffed at her before turning to his brother. "Stop over thinking it, Dean. You know, it could be good news."

Now Dean was worried about his brother too. "How?" he asked, staring at Sam incredulously. He didn't get how some self-proclaimed Angel of the Lord who was literally immune to every weapon they had decided to save him from Hell was considered good news. Could this weird change be contagious or something?

"Because for once, this isn't just another round of demon crap. I mean, maybe you were saved by one of the good guys, you know?"

Dean rolled his eyes. Nope, he was wrong. Nothing was wrong with Sam. Him being uncontrollably excited for the prospect of an angel saving his brother's ass was totally Sam. "Okay. Fine. Say it's true. Say there are angels. Then what? There's a God?" He turned to Elaine who only shrugged back, "please tell me you don't just believe it."

"I don't! I didn't," she added after a moment of pause, "but if it's really an angel…"

Sam quickly cut them before the conversation went astray again, "okay, okay, look. I know you're not all choirboy about this stuff, but this is becoming less and less about faith and more and more about proof."

"Proof?" Dean stared at his brother in disbelief. "Proof that there's a God out there that actually gives a crap about me personally?" He scoffed, "I'm sorry but I'm not buying it."

"Why not?" Sam countered back.

Dean was completely stunned when he noticed everyone gave him questioning look. Was he really the only one who thought how ridiculous their conversation is right now? "Because why me? If there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me?"

"Dean…"

"I've saved some people, okay?" Dean quickly cut her, "I figured that made up for the stealing," he glanced towards Elaine, "─and the ditching chicks. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy!" He stopped when he felt someone took his hand and squeezed it. It wasn't hard to realize who it was, considering only one person in this room had a smaller hand than his. Dean took a deep breath and all the anger he had built up towards her, and the others, started to diminish as he curled his hand over hers in response. "Fine," he finally said, "what do we know about angels?"

Bobby nodded towards the crate Dean had dragged to the kitchen. "You got your piles. Start reading."

Dean scowled at the gleeful old man in front of him. He had hoped he could trick Bobby into reading the whole piles. One book earlier was more than he could handle without dozing off or getting bored. He stared at his own crate in resentment then turned to Sam. "You're gonna get me some pie."

"You just had pie!" Sam exclaimed, not wanting to drive just to get a freaking pie.

The scowl on Dean's face only deepened in response. "Pie. Now," he said again, forcefully.

"Ugh, fine."

Elaine didn't mind at all when Dean unintentionally dragged her to the kitchen, as if he forgot they were still holding hand. In fact, she tightened her grip, just to ensure herself she was not really holding a thin air right now, that it wasn't just a fragment of her delusions. She didn't even want to think of how they left their argument few days ago. Right now she needed to feel Dean, to calm her mind from the latest nightmare. Neither of them said anything when Dean grabbed few books and dragged them back to Bobby. Or when they settled down in the sofa, contently reading their own book. Not once did they release their clasped hand. And if Bobby noticed it, he didn't comment at all, aside from a little smirk he still sporting on his face as he flipped through the next book. At least Dean was not complaining anymore for the number of books he had to read.

Their peaceful moment was shattered few minutes later when Bobby swore after fiddling with his phones for awhile. Elaine glanced up from her book in time to see Bobby threw his cellphone to the table in frustration. "Need help to use a cellphone, grandpa?" she called out. Next to her, Dean failed miserably on hiding his grin.

Bobby rolled his eyes, "I'm old, not ancient, missy."

"What's wrong then?"

"I got a friend one state over, Olivia Lowry. Been trying to reach her for three days on this angel thing." Bobby sighed, "It's not like her to ignore this many calls."

Elaine frowned, trying to remember the name from every hunters she had encountered, "Lowry? Seriously? I know way more than her. What could you possibly need her for?"

"I know more than you yet I still called you in," Bobby countered back.

"Oh please," she scoffed, "she is good on hunting but you and I know how crappy she is in keeping her researches. Besides, my house is closer to hers. I'll ask the standby to check on her rather than we wasted few hours in the road, if you're really that worried of her." Elaine stood up from the sofa, finally breaking their clasped hand, and reached for her phone inside her bag. She waited patiently for the other line to pick up but it went to voicemail. "That's weird," she frowned, walking to where her laptop is, "no one's picking up either. And they're at home," she added after staring at her laptop screen.

"How could you possibly know?"

Elaine turned her laptop around towards Dean, showing one blinking dots above where her house was located.

"You put a tracker on your friends?" Dean asked in disbelief.

She raised her hand to dangle her watch, "I wear one too. And I put one in your car," she added, couldn't help but smirking when Dean immediately launched on how he definitely did not give her permission to butcher up his baby etc. Once again she tried to call her teammate who had to guard the house but it went to voicemail again. "Okay. Now I'm worried too. Everything was fine when I left this morning _and_ Tom wouldn't dare not to answer my call this long." Elaine glanced to Bobby who sported the same look with her. "I'll check on my house. You go to Lowry?"

"I'll go with you," Dean said immediately.

"Why? Because only I need to be protected?" Elaine rolled her eyes, "just because an angel saved you from Hell, doesn't mean you get to play hero, sweetie. And I'm definitely not your damsel in distress." She glanced towards Bobby while grabbing her bag and coat, "call me when you got something."

* * *

><p>"Tom? Are you there?" Elaine called out as she opened her front door to, surprisingly, an empty and silent house. She checked on the alarm box next to the door. It wasn't activated when she came in earlier so there must be someone in the house that they didn't need to activate the whole system. There was no way Tom didn't hear the screeching sound her wheels made when she made the last turn into the driveway. The first room she checked was the soundproof basement, where the door leading there was locked, and ready to berate her teammate for not bringing his phone down when she found no one was inside. Now she couldn't ignore the sinking pit she felt on her way here. Something must have happened to Tom. Elaine grabbed one of the guns in the storage and went back upstairs.<p>

Still the house was pretty quiet when Elaine shouted his name again. The living room was empty, so did their meeting room, and so did other rooms in first floor until she went into the kitchen. It lacked of occupant just like the others, but everything was all cluttered there and not from cooking. The stove was untouched but the cabinets above it were open. Cans and bottles were everywhere, some of them were broken and their contents were spilled out. Some of their cookware was carelessly abandoned in the floor. Then she noticed salt packs were missing in one of the top cabinet. Her eyes widened when she realized what happened in their house. She quickly ran back to the living room where fireplace was located and found one of the fireplace pokers was missing.

Their house was haunted.

Elaine immediately grabbed the other poker and discarded her handgun as it wouldn't do her any use if it was ghost since this one wasn't filled by salt packed bullets. She glanced around warily before pulling the lever disguised as a book on the cabinet to open one of their weapon storage. One shotgun and two packs of salt shells were also missing, along with one of the EMF meters. Tom must have been in the living room or kitchen when the ghost appeared and went to the same storage as she did. She snagged a shotgun, checked the breech, locked the gun, and filled the belt with shells before grabbing the EMF meters. The EMF was not responding and the room temperature hadn't decrease since she came. There was no electrical disturbance as well. Still it didn't hurt to arm herself, just in case.

"Tom! Are you okay?!" she shouted, only to receive another silence again. "Damn it," she cursed under her breath. Elaine walked quietly with the help of carpeted staircase to the second floor where their bedrooms were located. Her eyes widened when she found trail of blood and salt on the hallway. She pressed herself against the wall and peeked from behind it to check if the hallway was clear. Once she was sure that there was no ghost or anything else, she quickly followed the trail to the only open bedroom in the floor. "Oh my God, Tom!"

Tom was in his bedroom, as she thought he would go, with broken salt line on the doorway. Just as she feared, he was already dead and his inside was torn apart. Elaine released a shaky breath─ she had no problem seeing corpse in any kind of condition, but it always shook her when it hit close to home. Especially knowing that she might be dead as well, had Bobby didn't force to come first thing in the morning. She glanced back at Tom's body─ he was still holding the shotgun when he died and the EMF meter was near him─ but the way his body was mutilated, it was too brutal for a spirit activity. Never had she seen a ghost done this before. Even if it was really a ghost… then why it never appeared before? They had searched the house when they first moved in and there was no history of a ghost wandering in there.

Elaine reached out the cell phone he dropped on the floor─ Tom probably was going to warn one of them before the ghost killed him─ and dialed Liz's cell number since she was the nearest to their house right now. The others were too far to get back immediately. "Liz, grey code," she said once the dialing tone stopped, "Tom's down and─" the beeping noise from both EMF meters stopped her. She glanced to see the reading had gone haywire. Next was a loud crackling noise on her speaker, cutting her call with Liz at once. Elaine tightened her grip on the shotgun and when she felt cold air behind her, she quickly turned around and pointed the gun towards the ghost. Her eyes widened as she realized who the ghost was, "Bela?!" and her hand unconsciously lowered down the gun.

"Hey, El." Bela greeted, slightly smirked, with her usual heavy British accent. "Fancy seeing you here."

She was not dreaming it then. It was really Bela's ghost. But if she was standing in front of her, then… she glanced back at Tom's mutilated body. "Is this your doing then?" Her fingers tightened their hold on the shotgun as she waited for her answer. This was not what she pictured herself would do to Bela.

Bela tilted her head to get a better look at the corpse behind Elaine and scoffed, "of course not. I don't even know that guy. I was in Hell when something pulled me here and voila, here we are. Who is he again? Your new Dean?" She immediately stepped away and raised her hand in defense when Elaine pointed the shotgun at her. "Whoa, I'm just here to talk. No need for the gun."

"If it's not you, then who killed my friend?"

Bela shrugged her shoulder, "Do you think I know every ghost there is just because I'm dead?"

"Well, I'm glad to see sarcasm hasn't run off from you after you're dead." Elaine countered with a smile. She truly missed this─ her casual banter with Bela was one of the things she really looked forward to take her mind off hunting. Not to mention, it was nice to have someone who didn't throw her suspicious look every minute. Hunters had gone wary of her if she barged into their hunting unannounced, as if her demon 'friend' was always around her. Even Dean and Bobby had their share of being cautious around her. "Why are you a ghost?" she suddenly asked. Never had she heard someone who made a deal with demon returned as a ghost before.

"Where is Dean, El?" she countered back.

Elaine stared at her friend in disbelief, "are we seriously going to talk about _him _of all people?" Then she frowned, "was there something happened between you and Dean that I should know of? You really couldn't stop talking about him after lucky rabbit thing." She pursed her lips as she unconsciously started imagining what might happen between Bela and Dean behind her. What transpired in her mind was not to her liking at all.

It wasn't hard for Bela to guess what the other woman might be thinking right now. She was dead, brutally killed, then became a ghost, and all Elaine could think of was if she was sleeping with Dean. "Oh I'm sorry. What do you want to talk then? About me perhaps? About how I spent every waking second in Hell being skinned alive bit by bit and that when there was nothing of me left, they just put me back in whole and do it over again and again. Is that what you want to talk about, El?" Her wry smile appeared when Elaine flinched hearing her statement. Served her right. El was a good hunter. No, scratch that, she was one of the best hunter Bela had ever seen but it only took one name to reduce her into an insecure woman.

"Typical Elaine," Bela scoffed when the other woman didn't say anything, "did you even ask Dean how he's faring after Hell? Or did you just let your stupid, petty stubbornness won you over?" She grabbed her neck and slammed that woman into the ground. "What the fuck is wrong with you, El?" she shouted as her temper had gotten better of her. Beside them, the EMF meters were beeping furiously, showing how Bela was getting stronger by minute. "I didn't get to go behind Lilith's back for this!"

Elaine coughed, trying to get her vocal cords to work. "Bel.. calm… down…" she croaked, struggling with the increasing pressure from Bela's hand. Her finger could touch the shotgun but she couldn't bring herself to shoot Bela. She knew she was already dead but… it's Bela. There should be a way to calm her down. If her anger was gone, she could return back to a normal ghost. "Bel…" she reached out to touch her friend's face, "please…"

"You didn't even try to save me! I'm your best friend, El, and you just let me die like that!" The anger had clouded her mind that Bela couldn't hear her plea to calm down. In her eyes, this was the woman who just cruelly abandoned her to die alone. This was the woman who did nothing to save her from Hellhound, despite the favor she could pull in from her demon 'friend'. And all could she think about was to repay the amount of pain she had to endure in Hell ten folds to this woman. "You even went to church and pray for _him_! He broke your heart countless time. And you chose to save him over _me_?!"

Under her, Elaine tried hard to release her death grip on her throat after realizing Bela couldn't see reason anymore. The anger had consumed her too much that she was not herself anymore. During her struggle, Tom's body caught her gaze. Was this what happened to Tom before his death? He knew better than not informing anyone else or at least chose a better place to fight the ghost. Did he also get caught off guard with whose ghost appeared? And that when he started to fight back, it was already too late? Elaine gasped, trying to suck more air into her lung. Her vision started to be blinded by bright spots. If she didn't do anything, she would meet the same fate as Tom. One of her hand frantically searched for that shotgun now.

She couldn't die this way. Not now.

Then suddenly Bela disappeared from above her and she could breathe again. There was a clanking noise near her before someone grabbed her shoulder and helped her to sit up. She could hear that same person talking something and another voice responded but her mind still couldn't process it. Then she felt the hand on her shoulder tightened its grip while another hand went to behind her knees and she was lifted out. As she coughed out to relieve the pressure and let air filing up her lung, her blurry vision started to come back to normal. That was when she recognized who saved her from Bela. She opened her mouth only to find her throat was too dry and there was no voice coming out.

"Hey, hey, relax." Dean stopped her from moving around before raising his head, "grab me that water, Sam."

Sam blindly reached for the plastic bag Dean threw at passenger seat carelessly earlier and when his hand touched the bottle, he threw it to the back seat. He glanced up on his rear mirror, "she okay?"

"Yeah." Dean answered rather absentmindedly as he helped Elaine drinking the water. There was no wound other than bruises on her neck. "Nope, you're definitely a damsel in distress," he grinned at her, earning a confused look from Sam.

"Oh shut up," she mumbled, remembering her last words to him before she went back to her house. Her voice was still hoarse and she was still dizzy from the lack of air earlier. Then she sat up to find herself in Impala. "Why are you taking me away? Shouldn't we do something to Bela's ghost?"

The grin then disappeared from Dean's face. "Lowry is also dead, just like your friend back there. Also some other hunters in the area. Only hunters. The civilians are all okay." He then frowned, remembering the ghost he had hit with iron stick. "What the hell is Bela's ghost doing killing every off duty hunter?" That didn't make any sense to him. Bela died more than four months ago and she didn't have a grudge on hunters. She trolled them yes, but never to the extent that she returned to the living world and killed the crap out of them. If she was targeting him and Sam, maybe he would believe it since she might be bitter after their last encounter.

"It's not Bela."

Dean rolled his eyes, "I saw her ghost, El."

"I meant yes, Bela was trying to kill me, but she didn't kill Tom or other hunters. It's someone else doing this." Her hand automatically reached for the demon blade which was usually on her person only to have it missing. She looked around frantically, "we have to get back. Now!"

Seeing her panicked made both Dean and Sam also panicked. "Why? What?" Did they miss someone else in the house?

"You left my demon blade back there. Someone could steal it away from me. Sam, turn around!"

"Are you kidding me? No! Unless you can explain how Bela suddenly appeared at _your_ house and how to stop her madness, I'm not going back there just to get that blade. Bobby told us to regroup at his place so that's what we're going to do right now."

Dean smirked, so proud of his brother to take a firm stand once in a while, "what he said." He then noticed her frowning at him, "what?"

Bela's words earlier came back to her mind. She had told her how her life in Hell had been. If those demons would do something like that to Bela, then what did they do to someone like Dean? Unlike Bela, Dean went to great length to stop demons' plan. Elaine bit her lips─ was her nightmares from before his revival true in any way? "Nothing…" she reluctantly said. This was not the time to think about it. Nor was it a good time to ask Dean. Maybe after this ghost killing hunter business ended.

* * *

><p>It took a visit from another ghost to convince Sam and Dean that it really was not Bela's doing. They stopped at the next gas station because Impala was running rather low on gas and Dean kept complaining on how uncomfortable the backseat was. That was when a ghost, went by Agent Henriksen, suddenly appeared behind Sam when he was in the restroom. Elaine overheard struggle from the men's restroom and went in to find a ghost was beating the crap out of him. She swung the iron stick Dean insisted her to bring for her protection and when the ghost disappeared, she went to Sam. "Are you okay?" she reached out to touch his wound, only to have him slapped it away.<p>

"Don't."

Elaine sighed, "Sam…"

"Just because Dean is all about forgiveness and start a new page with you, doesn't mean I'll do the same. I don't trust you and I never will," he spat before storming away from the restroom where Dean was just arriving, holding a shot gun. Dean threw her a questioning look when he noticed the scowl on his brother's face, which she brushed away.

The remaining drive back to Bobby's place was tenser. Dean was driving as fast as he could while kept glancing at Sam who was still massaging his temple. There was a bruise in there from when Henriksen slammed him against the sink. Elaine had tried once again to check his wound but he slapped her hand away once again. She dialed again Bobby's number to warn him about what had just happened but still there was no answer from the old man. Dean kept glancing at her from the rear mirror, waiting for an answer, but all she could do was shaking her head.

"How you feeling, huh? How many fingers am I holding up?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "none. I'll be fine, Dean."

"What the hell is going on?" Dean demanded an explanation, one that neither of them could explain.

"First Bela and now Agent Henriksen. This is crazy. Why is there a mass appearance of ghosts all of sudden? None of my team encountered any ghost in other states, so it only centered in this area." Elaine glanced down at her phone. She nicked Dean's phone and started calling her team who apparently was in panic after her call with Liz cut off abruptly earlier. Liz, especially, was more than happy to scream at her for giving her a heart attack. After debriefing them about the current situation, she had them checked on the other hunters in their current location. They were all fine, no case of strange ghosts suddenly appeared on their house.

Dean pursed his lips, not liking how her news sounded like. "But why? What did he want?" he glanced up to the rear mirror again, "what did Bela want?"

"Revenge. 'Cause we got him killed," Sam answered with a shrug.

"At first it was just for talk. Somehow I seem to set her off and then she suddenly hell bent on killing me…" she trailed off as she realized the situation. That was the connection! Bela's ghost appeared because she was guilty for letting her die like that. For Sam it was Agent Henriksen who was killed by Lilith after the brothers left the police station. He clearly was feeling guilty for letting that happened. "They're all people we failed to save…"

"What?"

"I couldn't save Bela and you couldn't save Henriksen. We couldn't fight back because we're too consumed with guilt. That must've happened to the other hunters too. As mediocre as some of them might be, it takes more than a ghost to catch them off guard." That was the only logical way to explain their situation. The only thing left was to find how those ghosts appeared all of a sudden and why they targeted the hunters instead. It didn't make sense to her. Taking on the civilians were easier since they couldn't defend themselves. What were they trying to accomplish by hunting down the hunters? And why is it only on their area? She glanced at Dean. Would it be paranoid if she had a feeling this might have something to do with him?

"Still no answer from Bobby?" He cursed when Elaine once again shook her head. If what she said was true, then Bobby was in a grave danger.

It was next morning when they finally arrived on Sioux Falls. When they arrived there, Bobby was nowhere to be found, to their horror. They went inside as quietly as possible while whispering Bobby's name, hoping he could hear them and gave a sign that he was still alive. Her laptop was still up and running, which meant Bobby was using it before he disappeared. She checked on the activity log and found that it was not that long since Bobby last used it. There was hope yet. She heard Dean snapped his fingers and followed him to the hallway where they found an iron poker on the end of the stair case. Her grip on the shotgun tightened. It was just like when she entered her house yesterday. Everything was all quiet and nothing was out of place, except that iron poker.

Dean gestured towards the stair, "I'll go. You both check outside."

"There's still basement. I'll check there," she said. That was where she most certain Bobby would go if he was under attack. She went downstairs to find that it was also empty but still trained her shotgun on every direction before she took a step. "Bobby?" her calling went unanswered, causing her to frown again. When she checked the panic room, it was locked but there was no one inside. Now she was getting really worried. Bobby was more experienced on this so he should be able to think straight and quick. She thought regardless who the ghost was, he would fight back.

"Do you actually love him, El?"

Elaine turned around, pointing her shotgun towards Bela. "I'm not in the mood for a talk, Bels." Her shot went through Bela and caused her to disappear. She glanced around to make sure the area was really safe and was about to return upstairs when Bela appeared again by standing on the end of the staircase.

"I never saw you both together so I just take your word when you said he's your first love. Now that I can see everything, I can tell how big fat liar you are." Bela shot towards her and pushed her towards the wall by grabbing her neck and hand which held shotgun. "You don't love him. You never do. Because if you do, you wouldn't get pissed off just because he chained you up. Not after you just let THAT HELLHOUND TORE ME APART!"

Elaine blindly grabbed on the table next to her for something to send Bela away and when she could feel the texture of an iron poker, she quickly swung it through Bela. She was dropped to the ground, coughing for an air again, when Bela's ghost disappeared.

Knowing there was nothing else she could find in basement and Bela could appear anytime soon, Elaine went back upstairs. She was about to join Sam in outside when her laptop screen caught her attention. There was something nagging on her mind since Bela appeared and she wanted to check it. Just when she was about to open her database, she heard loud voice from upstairs and that was not Dean. It was more like a woman's voice and she was the only woman in the house, which meant… Elaine grabbed her shotgun and quickly ran upstairs, thinking Bela had decided to change her target to Dean. Although when she was upstairs, it was another woman who seemed to look familiar to her. Before the ghost could attack her, she shot her, causing her to disappear. When she was sure that the ghost wouldn't return soon, she immediately went to check on Dean. She was relieved to find that there was no visible wound on him.

Dean scowled at her, "I had it under control."

"Of course. Is that why you were crawling on the floor when I came?" She offered her hand to help him stand. "You okay?" When she saw him nodded, Elaine loosened her hold on his hand only to have him tightened his grip and pulled her closer towards him. Her breath caught a hitch when his other hand touched her neck and its thumb caressed her cheek. She parted her lips but words had failed to come through when Dean leaned closer to her. They shouldn't be doing this. _She_ shouldn't be doing this, but her eyes kept flickering down to his lips as she found herself leaning towards him.

_"__You didn't even try to save me!"_

_"__Did you even ask Dean how he's faring after Hell?"_

Her eyes snapped open, hearing Bela's words replayed in her mind, and she pushed him away from her, just as their lips barely touched each other. She turned away before she could see his expression and quickly walked downstairs. What was wrong with her? They were in the middle of a hunt and Bobby was still nowhere to be found, yet she almost kissed him instead. She could hear Dean following her down from his footsteps. If she stayed inside, they could get into an argument again. So she decided to join Sam on the outside only to find the front door opened and Sam and Bobby went in, looking alive.

"Bobby! You're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed their fussing, "so what the hell is going on?"

"Well, our theory is people we couldn't save now turned into a ghost." Dean answered, although his eyes couldn't leave her figure. Right now she returned to her laptop, not listening to their conversation. "Mind joining the party, El?"

She just raised a finger, ordering him to shut up, while her other hand was still clicking the keyboard, leaving the other gave her a baffled look. "Found it!" she exclaimed few minutes later. "I knew there was something going on in here." Elaine clicked to enlarge the picture she had been looking for and was about to explain to the others when her screen was distorted then a static noise came out from the radio on the room. The ghosts were back.

"We got to move. Follow me."

Dean grabbed her shotgun as well and used his free hand to grab her by the arm, "come on!" He ignored her protest that she could walk on her own. "Where are we going?"

"Some place safe, idiot."

Bobby led them towards the staircase leading down to the basement. Then she knew where he was leading them to. The panic room. When she visited him one weekend two months ago, she was welcomed with an empty house. At first she thought Bobby was out on hunting, until she heard loud noises from downstairs. Elaine put down the groceries she bought for him and took out her demon blade. Quietly and carefully, she stepped on the staircase. The sight she found down there was not what she imagined. Bobby was cluttering on the other end of the basement, welding some irons on the wall. He kicked her out later when she kept teasing him on.

This was the first time she was glad Bobby was a paranoid hunter even on his own house. The panic room was supplied with every kind of weapon he could find inside. And since there were no ghosts appearing after they went inside, this room was really a Fort Knox for a hunter. Maybe she really should commission one in her house. Elaine settled herself in the bed, reading on what she had just found connected to their situation, while the boys were still busy marveling the room. "Bobby, do you happen to have opium, hemlock, wormwood in here?" she suddenly asked.

"It's a panic room, not a grocery store. What the hell do you need that for?"

Elaine raised her hand and touched the spot between her thumb and forefinger on the back of her hand. "I saw Bela had a mark in there and I know she never had that one before." She turned her laptop so the other could see it and clicked on the picture of the mark she mentioned. "It's Mark of the Witness." Elaine could feel a lump on her throat, knowing what caused Bela to appear as a ghost out of a sudden. Her death was already a painful one, being torn apart by Hellhounds, and now this happened to her again. She gripped her shotgun tight, determined to find who was behind all of this.

Only Bobby seemed to recognize the meaning of that mark. "Balls," he cursed, realizing what was happening to them.

"Hey, that's the same mark I saw on Henriksen." Sam said after taking a proper look at the mark and glanced up to see the exchanged look between Elaine and Bobby. "What is it? What's with the mark? Witness to what?"

"The unnatural." Bobby answered, "none of them died what you'd call ordinary death. See, these ghosts─ they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony. They were like rabid dogs. It ain't their faults. Someone raised them… on purpose."

Sam frowned, still not getting what those two meant, "who?"

"Do I look like I know?" Bobby rolled his eyes. These boys sometimes assumed he knew everything that happened in the world. Flattering yes, but sometimes, like this time, was irritating. "But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark, a brand on their souls. Whoever did this had big plans. It's called 'the rising of the witnesses'. It figures into an ancient prophecy."

Dean shared a confused look with Sam. They still didn't get what he was trying to convey. It sounded a terrible thing, yes, but to what extent? "What prophecy? Quit with the introduction and just get on to the point already!"

"It's a sign of _the_ apocalypse, sweetie." Elaine answered. There was no trace of playfulness in her face so he knew she wasn't just teasing him.

He turned to Bobby who also had a matched grim look on him then to Sam who was equally surprised as him. That was too huge of a bomb to kid around. "The four horsemen, pestilence, five dollar a gallon gas apocalypse? That apocalypse?"

Bobby nodded, "that's the one. The rise of the witnesses is like a mile marker."

"Okay, so what do we do?" Sam asked rather dazedly. He was still unsure on how to process the information. First it was demon army trying to take over the world. Now it was apocalypse. He thought everything would be back to normal hunting after Azazel died. But then Dean struck a deal to save his life and just when he finally got his brother back, this happened. When could they have a normal hunting life like other hunters? They never seemed to be able to catch a break, even for a moment. Somehow he had a feeling that in their past life, they must have pissed off wrong person and now they were cursed for eternity.

"Road trip. Grand Canyon, Star Trek Experience. Bunny Ranch. Las Vegas." His comment earning a dirty look from Sam and another eye roll from Bobby.

"Well, I'm all up for getting drunk in Las Vegas and eloped in Elvis Chapel, but we need to get out of here first for that, sweetie." Elaine commented with a smirk, seeing Dean scowling at her. She scribbled down ingredient list needed for the spell she found to return the witness back to rest then showed it to Bobby. "Please tell me you have everything."

Bobby read the list and nodded, "it should work. I think I got everything we need here at the house."

"_Should_. Great." Sam said sarcastically.

Dean looked around the room, "any chance you got everything we need here in this room?" he asked rather hopefully. With what was waiting for them outside this room, he was all content on staying in here until someone else cleared out the problem for them.

The old man snorted, "so you thought our luck was gonna start _now_ all of a sudden? Spell's gotta be cast over an open fire." He then turned to the only female in the room who was still staring at her laptop and asked, "anything more we need, El?"

"Nope. That's all." Elaine closed her laptop and grabbed her shotgun. Her belt was still had all shells filled. She cocked the shotgun and glanced at the boys, "All set to go?"

It's time to put Bela and other ghosts back to their rest.

* * *

><p>It was a close call. They almost couldn't cast the spell and send the ghosts back. All of them were almost killed yesterday. Even though they knew it wasn't their fault and the ghosts were already dead so it wouldn't hurt them when they shot them with salt shells, it was still hard to point a gun at those ghosts. Not that the ghosts had the same compassion to them. It was as if the ghosts knew what they were trying to do and increase their attack. Every step they took, a ghost would appear and tried to attack them. Even after they barricaded themselves inside a salt line, the ghosts didn't cease their violent attack. Had they stayed together all the time, maybe the ghosts wouldn't stand a chance. But there were other ingredients Bobby stashed in different room so he had to send the others to fetch them. Even though it did make less ghosts were chasing each of them, they were struggling between protecting themselves and finding the stuffs Bobby needed.<p>

Elaine closed her eyes with her hand rested over them, trying not to think about yesterday anymore. It was too much for her. Seeing Bela again, hearing what she thought of her, it really hurt her. Never had she thought her friend to think of her that way. She knew it probably just from the strain of being forced into a ghost and she shouldn't mind it. But it was still nagging on her mind. No one ever questioned what she was doing. Not once did anyone ever second guess her decision and she believed them. She thought she was doing Sam a favor by stepping back. Or that Dean would not be hurt if he didn't know the whole truth. She thought what she did was for the best. But after what happened yesterday, she wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe Bela was telling the truth. Maybe she really was a coward who thought herself to be in control.

_"__Did it ever occur to you that you could have saved me? Did you even think of me when you're praying, El? Or were you just too preoccupied with Dean dearest?"_

_"__Elaine Corbett," Meg said as she appeared behind her, "I saw you when that demon bitch used my body. You're a hunter but you worked with demon? How low can you be? You'd rather let that demon used my body than saving me. I was screaming at you, begging you to save me!" She scoffed, "but you only want to help Dean Winchester, didn't you? You could've saved all of us and you chose to ignore and let us die. But when Dean is in trouble, you run around like a lost puppy."_

A knock on the door startled her from her thought. "You up?" Dean's voice was heard from behind the door.

She sighed. This was not a good time for them to have another conversation again. Of all things that had happened, she really wanted to forget her slip with him. So she kept silent hoping that if she didn't answer, maybe he would just leave, when the door suddenly opened. Great, she should have just locked the door earlier. "I could be sleeping," she said pointedly as Dean closed the door and walked over to her bed, holding a steaming cup.

"What? Like I've never seen you sleeping," he countered back.

"Touché," she said softly, taking the cup from him. Her lips twitched into a smile as she inhaled the smell of a hot cocoa. She didn't expect him to still remember her little habit when the hunt was getting too personal to her. For a moment she was content on sipping the hot cocoa until she realized that Dean hadn't said anything since he sat on her bed. She glanced to find him staring at her intently and lowered down her head. "Something's wrong?" she murmured.

"That Castiel invaded my dream just now."

Elaine frowned, not expecting this kind of talk, "did he want something from you?"

"He said it's one of the seals," Dean answered, closing his eyes, "the rising of the witness."

"Of?"

"66 seals off, Lucifer walks out. You're right, apocalypse is coming." He glanced to see a genuinely shocked look on her face. His body immediately relaxed after knowing that she had no idea about the seals. He had no idea what to react if she showed a slightest hint about knowing this beforehand.

"Are you fine with it?"

Dean only shrugged his shoulder back, letting an uncomfortable silence returned between them. She glanced at him again, trying to come up with something to talk to, to keep his mind off of his conversation with the angel. Clearly that angel said something that disturbed him. But her brain betrayed her and couldn't come up with something. Bela's words kept whispering back into her mind. He hadn't gotten a proper rest after yesterday and if she questioned him about his time in Hell… he could go defensive again. Last time it happened he accused her for working with Lilith and it ended up with him storming out of her house in the middle of the night. She felt something cold touching her cheek and slapped it away in instinct.

How surprised she was when it was actually Dean's hand.

"You're avoiding me now?"

Elaine sighed. Of course he would draw that conclusion. "No, I just… You caught me off guard, that's it."

"Yeah, right," he muttered. How stupid he was for thinking that they already moved on from their last argument. That was their usual M.O: no heartfelt apology moments needed. Fine, he admitted what an ass he was before he's dead, but that was for valid reason. Had it been someone else, he would have killed that person already. But after what he had gone through in Hell, it was all the past for him and he was all ready to forget it and do what she wanted before his death─ to reconnect on what they had before. Besides, they were doing fine handling the ghosts together. She didn't blatantly avoid his touch and even teased him once or twice.

Dean took another glance at her and found her staring blankly at the empty mug instead. A stare that was too identical to the one she had on that night in Seattle to his liking. Something must have happened when she encountered Bela by herself. But at least this time it wasn't his fault... was it?

"I'm not blaming you or anything," she suddenly said. "Nor am I still angry about that night." Smile adorned her face when she saw his startled look."You're never that hard to figure, sweetie." But her smiled wiped away from her face immediately when she turned her head away. The signs were there since years before but she was too stubborn to acknowledge it. How ironic it was that it took her being attacked by these ghosts to make her realized what she should have done years before. "I can't believe how right Bela actually was and she died first."

Dean frowned, not liking how weird and forced her laugh sounded, "about what?" There was a sinking feeling in his gut after hearing her. He tried to ignore a warning voice on his head to either steer the conversation away or walk out from this room.

"I can't do this anymore, Dean." She raised her head to face him properly with tears were brimming on her eyes. "Whatever it is between us, it has to stop. Everything is changed now. When you died…" she stopped when her voice wavered again and tears caught up in her throat. "Bela was right," she repeated, "I will always try to find a way to save you, even if I have to sacrifice someone else. I tried to do that with your dad three years ago. I did it again yesterday. I let the ghosts to have opening on Bobby because I was trying to save _you_."

"So what? You think you're the only one with that kind of problem? I basically killed myself for bringing Sam back to life! Stop using something like this as an excuse to run away, El."

"What if more people died because of us? I'm not going to put those over our head!" she shouted back. "Bela's... and Meg's... their death is in mine, Dean. I let them die for my selfish reason!"

Dean quickly grabbed her arm when she stood and was about to leave. "Well I was the one who ordered Sam to finish the exorcism so Meg's death is on me, not you, El. Stop it!" he said firmly as she tried to struggle away from him. When she tried to twist her arm away, he quickly used his other hand to wrap around her upper chest to hold her in place. "Ouch!" He yelled when Elaine bit his arm instead, causing him to loosen his hold on her. Elaine immediately shot away from his arm's length but at least she didn't leave the room. He rubbed the spot where she bit him while glaring at her. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He waited for her answer as she avoided his gaze. Her hands clasped on her elbow as she leaned herself to the wall. "I could have saved Bela. Her contract was something I can bargain easily but I didn't do it because I need that leverage for you. I let her die so I could have a chance to save you. I could have saved Meg as well when she offered me a deal. Your father for your safety. I could have trapped her and exorcise her out of that body, but I didn't do it because if I know which body she was using, it would be easier for me to put surveillance on her." Elaine raised her head to face him. In front of her, Dean clenched his hand, as if he was trying to hold himself rooted on the spot. "She's my best friend, Dean, and I let her die just like that."

"That's it? You just believe on what they said and cut me off like that?"

"Isn't that what you actually want when you walked out on me three years ago?" Elaine bit her lips when she saw him flinched. It was rather low for her to bring up that night again, but that was the only way she could make him see the problem between them. "Look at us Dean, when was the last time we're not arguing? Even before that night, the only thing that could stop us from killing each other is sex. We're not a couple. We never had a real relationship, Dean!" She breathed heavily after screaming out the last part. "You were right," Elaine suddenly talked again, more quietly, stopping Dean who was in the verge of blowing up at her, "I was too hung up around you. I should've listened to you and step back when you walked away. I should've kept my distance. Dean…" She raised her hand to touch his arm, to turn his attention back to her from any thoughts spiraling in his mind right now. "It's not that I cut you off completely. I will still help you, with stopping the 66 seals and the apocalypse if it came to that, but that's just it. I can't do more than that."

Elaine didn't react at all when Dean shrugged her hand away from him and walked towards the door. This was better, she thought. If he tried to talk her out of it, if he even spoke a word against it, she knew her resolution would dissolve right away. He stopped when he almost stepped outside her room. "I'm not going to do a do-over on this," he stated coldly.

"I know…" she murmured.

Right after Dean slammed the door shut and left her alone in the room, Elaine slid down to the floor, gasping and sobbing as she couldn't hold back her tears anymore. _It was over. Just let him go, you both weren't meant to be. This was for the best._ She kept chanting those words on her mind. But she couldn't ignore a small part of her whispering that if those were true, then why did she only feel all horrible and guilty inside?

This was not fair. All she wanted in exchange for everything she had done─ throwing away her identity, her future, and risking her life everyday─ was a chance to have someone to love as a tiny glimpse of what a normal life was. But why, just for this once, why couldn't she get her happy ending?

* * *

><p><em>Right, so I have to reluctantly admit that I can only update every month, at least not until I finished with my school. I hope you all can be patient for the next update :)<em>

_To those of you who's wondering where is Castiel, he will appear on next chapter. I promise! :D :D __Please leave a review if you're reading and enjoying the story. I'd loved to hear your opinion._


End file.
